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IT TAKES ONE TO TANGO: How I Rescued My Marriage With (Almost) No Help From My Spouse—and How You Can, Too ~ Winifred Reilly, MA, MFT

IT TAKES ONE TO TANGO is a wonderful read and I had a hard time putting it down.  I have been to marriage therapy several times with my partner and it was always so disappointing because he would not make any changes and just found it an excuse to demand that I do all the work and announce he wasn’t going to cooperate.   This was just not acceptable and I did not enjoy being attacked verbally when we were paying for the session.

Then I took Nonviolent Communications workshops with Dr. Marshal Rosenberg and I found out that I could make lots of changes just through my own efforts and energies; processing my thinking and actions alone could change the dynamics with my partner and my children.   I started working on myself.  It was good work, it was not easy and it was so worth it.

IT TAKES ONE TO TANGO, moves this theory forward and makes the hard work of marriage something that one person can tackle and promote change and success.  This is not a workbook for those folks suffering with physical abuse, rather it is for those couples who are caught up in those circular arguments that never find resolution and make a marriage wearing and the partners wanting to call it quits.   This is even for those folks who may think their marriage is hopeless.

“Feel like you live on the verge of ripping your partner’s head off and shoving it down the neck hole? It Takes One to Tango is for you. Author Winifred Reilly not only explains why marriage is so predictably frustrating, but more important she reveals how you can turn the tide without your spouse’s help or even consent. Using her own marriage as a litmus test, Reilly offers a pragmatic alternative to subjecting an unwilling participant to years of pricey, unproductive marriage therapy or talking yourself blue in the face.” — Jenna McCarthy, author of If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon”

Marriage is very hard work and takes a great deal of energy.  Families need good communication skills and adults that are not fighting all the time.  IT TAKES ONE TO TANGO can break the tough routines and allow a marriage to become vibrant and flourish.   It is not about creating the perfect marriage.  It is about change and finding the love again. I cannot highly recommend this book enough; I am sharing it with my book groups.  It is such a pleasant read and very satisfying for the DIY enthusiasts.

I did like very much that Reilly uses her own marriage, which has survived 40+ years and her own work as part of the process she shares.  We don’t truly want perfect marriages – we want alive and healthy marriages!

TLC Booktours, sent me a copy of IT TAKES ONE TO TANGO for review – Fabulous read!    Thank you.

About Winifred Reilly

Winifred M. Reilly is a marriage and family therapist, with a private practice in Berkeley, CA.  She has been committed to helping couples and individuals build strong, loving relationships for more than 35 years. Winifred is the author of the relationship advice blog Speaking of Marriage, and her work has appeared in The Good Men Project, xoJane, and The Huffington Post.

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6 Responses to “IT TAKES ONE TO TANGO: How I Rescued My Marriage With (Almost) No Help From My Spouse—and How You Can, Too ~ Winifred Reilly, MA, MFT”

  1. Winifred Reilly Says:

    Thanks, Patricia. Glad you enjoyed my book.
    Winifred Reilly recently posted..7 Short and Sweet Ways to Connect With Your SpouseMy Profile

    Patricia Reply:

    Winifred Reilly
    I enjoyed your book very much and I am going to share it with my larger book group. We all can use a bit of review when it comes to marriage when it is such hard work! thank you for sharing with me..
    Patricia recently posted..THE GIRL IN THE RED COAT: A Review ~Kate HamerMy Profile

  2. Laurie Buchanan Says:

    Patricia — My mom always said, “Marriage is hard. A good marriage is really hard.” I’m so thankful that Len and I (married over 37 years) are not in need of this book. But I’ve made a note of it so that I can refer clients to it who would benefit. Thank you!
    Laurie Buchanan recently posted..Comfort ZoneMy Profile

    Patricia Reply:

    I would have said too that I did not need to read this book after 40 years of marriage, but I enjoyed it to the max and truly learned a few tricks to get over some places I was ignoring. It is a fun and good read. I am sure that I will refer it to a number of folks including my large book group

  3. Heather J @ TLC Book Tours Says:

    I’m glad to see that you can recommend this book so highly! Thanks for being a part of the tour.

    Patricia Reply:

    Heather J
    I did enjoy this book and I put it on my book group schedule we can all use a bit of a look at our relationships and this was a fun guide