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They are my hands working in the water; usually it is moments like these in which I find myself looking at my Father’s hands, occasionally my Mother’s.

Do you ever have moment like that, when the work and habits that are being undertaken reveal your minds knowledge of someone else’s endeavors? Is it reassuring, pleasing or frightening to make this discovery?

At the moment, I have my hands dipped into cold water and am rinsing strawberries fresh from the garden. I have previously taken care of 2 flats of berries and now begin on the last 2 flats. We will eat some fresh, I will freeze at least 10 quarts and I will dry one full flat.

Strawberry Shortcake is on the menu for our Independence Day Celebration.

Actually, my hands are here on the computer keyboard, I am just remembering the 10 hours I have devoted to the care of Strawberries!

This year the Organic berries are in very short supply. Demand is up for the local, fresh berries and the chemical free varieties. I go to the farmer’s market and purchase my first two flats the first week of the season. Two weeks later I am scrambling to find two more flats, because I want the very ripest berries for drying as I add no sugar or preservatives to my task. I want the flavor to explode into the mouth when I give them as gifts during the Winter Holiday Season.

The weather has been strange and the berries are small, hard to find, and exceptionally sweet – expensively delicious.

My hands guide the colander full of berries through the water and they wield the knife to remove the tops in a smooth gliding motion. There is no arthritis to mar the shape of the joints, they are not swollen, short and unwieldy – they are my hands moving in a rhythm all their own – precision instruments of care.

I feel the seeds and anticipate the juice and know the overripe or bad spot without hesitation or conscious thought. I sit down, I stand, I love my comfortable CROCS and I think about the woman who have gone before me and prepared for the year ahead.

I do not grow my own strawberries, our urban, downtown farm spot does not have enough room for organic slug control and my small traps of beer do not catch enough of the hungry consumers. The ground cover I use is a tiny, tiny strawberry plant that the birds just love to enjoy and I love the massive white blooms in the middle of spring. I pay for someone else to bend and pick the berries for me.

I do have 15 blueberry bushes which are a part of the hedge system in our yard. They are loaded with fruit and I must stake up a couple as they are bent nearly to the ground in abundance. I notice that the Winter Squash and pumpkins all have blooms and a couple of free starts from the compost have set uniquely shaped orbs – I wonder how they will taste.

The apple trees have dropped some leaves and self pruned the non-viable apples, and it is notable that the trees do not carry as much fruit as in other years. The woodpeckers ate too many of the Mason Bees?

Early season or late – I can not speculate but am hoping for late so that I can make sauce, dried, and juice for the days to come, and not be away on my walking tour.

Who would have thought that these hands would be a part of such abundance and beauty? Who would have known that these hands would be taking care of me and mine? Who would have known that these hands would assist me in sharing so many words and ideas?

They are my hands now lifting the berry coins off the dehydrator trays and putting each into their containers for a mouth watering surprise. Hands that know the rhythm and motion by heart.

What do your hands know by heart? How do you care for your hands? Are you remembering?

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I was reading blogs and found that Tess of the Bold Life Blog had made a typo in the comments section. She had ended her word with a T instead of a D.

I have to admit this phrase has gotten stuck in my mind for several weeks now.

Tom Volkar, one of the coaches on line, wrote that one needs to think about the “BIG” Thing you want to do in your life and get this out of your head and your heart and put it out for the world to see and for you to work towards. No use in thinking small.

I started wrestling with these ideas – first with my thumbs, then with arms, and now it has become a full body contact match. I thought maybe the big idea would come to me while I was walking and touring in another country. No it is right here and right now – I do not need to come up with something new and this is already on the table, before my eyes, and in my face real.

I am looking for a magic wand to change the WANT into reality. I would like a magic pill- well not really – a magic wand that truly worked would certainly do the trick.

I am looking for a support system and a belief system outside of myself – and I will never achieve this something BIG if I believe that it is outside of me.

The naysayers are everywhere with the proof to back up what they are shouting at me.

So here is the deal: the BIGGY

I want to heal myself of this dis-ease this dis-order and I want to live at least until I am 85 and I want to live healthy…..not infirmed or diminished.

One of the promises I made to my Father when he was dying was that I would figure out what this dis-ease was and take care of myself. I know the name of the disease: Genetic, non-alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease. It mimics diabetes sometimes with its insulin resistance and it wrecks havoc on your immune systems. It leaves one open to cancer and environmentally caused cancers – not to mention other disease.

If I take the American Diabetes medicine, I know I will be dead within 10 years.

I am already involved in the BIGGY. I have moved me, myself, and I up to the top of the list. I am putting exercise first on my goals for the day and I am repeating my mantra with every step of the way.

I am removing the toxic and replacing it with the positive. I am recognizing when I am stuck and when I need an interpreter, and I know who to go to for assistance.

I know what I need to do and the teachers and lessons are coming at me in perfect timing. I am not playing around, wishing and hoping; rather I am in constant touch with my goal. Today I see clearly that this is IT and I am on the path.

I am putting aside my fear, daily ritual, of being in an accident or getting ill and ending up in the ER unable to defend myself or protect myself. It is not going to happen! “They” are not going to kill me before my time or relax me into complacency.

I will be able to be my own advocate and show other how to do this – and not to numb down, but to gear up and positive radiate – avoiding radiation.

I have transitioned into this moment. I just had to let go of the magic wants and move into Trust and Belief. This is a moment of LOVE.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
I Corinthians 13:12-13

Playing it small is not the answer to my prayers. Thank you Tess and Thank you Tom – it was on the tip of my tongue – it just needed your words to get it out.

What is your BIG thing? Do you have magic wants? Distractions? What are you avoiding seeing?

Archived Post that you might also enjoy:
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Beautiful

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This is not a book review, rather this is a report about a book that I am in the process of reading and am planning to review.

I would like to tell you that I have read and outlined this book, but rather I am reporting that I have heard David Korten speak about this book nearly 10 times now and this has inspired me to treat the book as a course of study. I wish to understand and convey exactly what Korten is talking about and I believe that I want to incorporate his concepts into my daily living and into my community.

I hungrily read Korten book When Corporations Rule the World a number of years ago and was so impressed by his command of information, his ability to translate complex systems into understandable language and thought, and how his ideas were smart, savvy and so honest that they need to arouse the spirit to do something to make change.

I then heard him speak when his partner became the Executive Director, Publisher of the Positive Futures Network and involved with YES magazine, so he now live nearby and was locally accessible. His words and ideas resonated with our Voluntary Simplicity Study group, our Spiritual Community and the State College Community where I was working.

I prepared a paper and lead a discussion group on that book and then passed it on for the next reader to find its wisdom. I believe Mr. Korten is one of the smart people, who is ahead of his time, and provides real opportunity to develop systems of change within one’s own community.

Korten is from the Global Economic Community and the New York City – Beltway Community, but he created his efforts from his personal foundation in human values. As the political signs begin popping up for our city council elections, I am formulating questions based on my study of the new book.

In Korten’s own word from the Spring 2009 issue of YES, Magazine:

Trying to solve the crisis with the same tools that caused it is the definition of insanity….
Real wealth is, first of all, the tangible things that support life-food, shelter, clothing. Of course, the most valuable forms of real wealth are those that are beyond price: love; a healthy, happy child; a job that provides a sense of self-worth and contribution; membership in a strong, caring community; a healthy vibrant natural environment; peace. Our Wall-Street-driven economic system makes fantastic amounts of money and actively destroys all these many forms of real wealth.

Every time I spend my money, I feel as though I am making a vote for a new way of life; voicing my opinion in the loudest voice I have. Do you feel you can vote with your money?

Here is what one of the professionals says about Korten’s book:

Building upon his earlier explorations of economics, history, and psychology, Korten explains why Washington’s response to the current economic crisis is like trying to put a fire out with gasoline. By outlining a foundational framework for extricating the economy from the clutches of Wall Street and creating a real-wealth New Economy based on Main Street, Korten provides essential guideposts for those working for real change.

Charlie Cray, Director, Center for Corporate Policy.

I want to make real change for my future and for my children’s future. I am arming myself with the best knowledge I can find. Surrounding myself with experts and planners, who can jump start my endeavors.

What do you think? Want to read this book? Want to know more? Feeling powerful? How do you help to make change happen? Fix the problem?

Looking forward to your comments and studying this book.

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Within a month I am going to have an “out of house” experience. I am going on a trip to the United Kingdom (UK) spending the majority of my time in Scotland.

I signed up for a walking tour and apparently not many other people wished to walk around, so that tour was cancelled and now I am on a Castles and Highlands tour. There are moments when I am just so excited I can hardly stand it and other times when am working very diligently to be prepared.

For the last 23 years, I have been the stay at home parent, while my partner went to work conferences, mountain climbs, and bicycle tours. We did some family camping adventures, but most of our travels involved going to Grandparent’s homes and enjoying their good company and hospitality. We did not wander far.

I made it a point to make sure that each of my children got a trip to someplace else on this planet in hopes of helping them be better global citizens and understanding human beings. I accomplished this.

When I got to thinking about how I wanted to spend my 60th birthday, I had no hesitation. I knew right away that I wanted to see my forbearer’s homeland – Scotland. My Parents had been reared in Canada and I have been from Ocean to Ocean in that country with family guidance.

I haven’t been exploring and relaxing in any other locations for a very long time. It is my turn, so to speak.

Now I am chronically packing my suitcases. This is problematic and is a form of anxiety produced by years of mothering.

These are things that need to fit into my trip suitcase:

• I can only take one suitcase of limited dimension and only 49 pounds – I did this before I can do this again.
• I can take only a day pack sized back pack or carry on because the larger ones with handle and wheels do not fit into the luggage racks of the bus
• I can only take what I can handle myself
• Passport, money and food, because I only get 1 meal per day – Breakfast.
• I do not know what clothing to take, but I do not wish to take very much – simple
• I did find an amazing pair of shoes which I can walk 6 miles in and no problems uphill and flat surface
• Voltage converter – very heavy
• My IT person says NO COMPUTER – so she bought me several smaller journals to write in and compile my posts.
• I have a nice compact digital camera and my exquisite photographer will be joining me
• Personal items and supplements – essential to life for me; must be in original packaging which is extremely heavy.
• Blog Care: guest bloggers, and written ahead posts for 2 blogs, and an IT person for maintenance. Many of these things are being checked off as I write today.

Now this really is not such a bad list and I am very organized, the problem comes when I mentally start packing the suitcase – over and over again. Did I remember the sun screen or the toothbrush? Then I reassure myself by saying I can purchase something if I forget. I move on to packing other items into my suitcase and worry about that item.

This anxiety does not get me packed or resolved. It just escalates the worry. The primary problem is that I am busy packing the suitcase and not thinking about the places I will go and the people I will meet or the things that I will see.

As of today I am stopping packing my suitcase and have set up a schedule for being prepared and enjoying my trip. I have used the blocking technique suggested by so many coaches and set aside a few minutes every day to look at the itinerary and look up on the Internet that location. I will physically take my suitcase out of the attic the weekend before my trip and pack it with clean and fresh gear. I have 3 more items to take care of and I have set aside 30 minutes each week to accomplish those items. Whew!
I am now in the present. I have stopped packing and packing that suitcase. I am feeling productive, excited, and as though I will be ready to go and enjoy my adventure.

How about you? How do you focus on the adventure and not the suitcase? How do you shift out of worry and get to the present when you find yourself going there?

Take a deep breath and stop packing your suitcase… truly I mean it…ah doesn’t that feel better?