SWOON: The Great Seducers and Why Women Love Them ~Betsy Prioleau
After I heard Betsy Prioleau author or SWOON interviewed on our public radio station I could hardly wait to read this book. I took notes on the 5 minute interview on the NPR’s Dinner Party program of what she said:
- Lady’s men produce more questions than answers; are very misunderstood and really have not been studied before.
- We think of them as having a sexual power which is frightening, whereas more often than not they are fellows who know what women want and they love the company of women.
- We think they are incredibly handsome and buff and usually they are not.
- They have a romantic passion which gives them a sexual voltage and chemistry which may be something they are born with or learned most often from their mothers and sisters. They like the company of women.
- They are great conversationalists, often witty and eloquent
- They like change and to learn new things
- They quite often enjoy dancing very much because they want to support and please women
SWOON was down in my stack of books that TLC online book tours had sent me and it was not drawing my attention until I heard the interview. I began reading a section of it every day between the downloads on my KINDLE and the other hardbound books arriving at my door for spring posts.
One of my book groups likes to read romantic fiction, I was concerned that this would be more of the same, and was relieved to find that the fictional works lavishly placed into this study were high quality reads which emphasized the real traits of a lady’s man over time.
The Seducers of SWOON are historic figures and famous figures, but they are not usually the handsome, buff, rakish fellows as portrayed in the bodice rippers of dime store fame. I learned that there are even schools, and books, out and about to help a man become one of these brutish, fevered fellows – and according to the author who is married to a Lady’s Man and interviewed dozens and studied even more for the book – these trainings will not work and will not increase one’s connectability. Prioleau even goes on to insist that the “sexiest”, “handsomest” men of the year as portrayed in the magazines are not very often Lady’s Men at all. They are acting out the formula, whereas Ashton Kutcher just might be the contemporary real deal in the public eye – most are not acting or following a formula, rather they are just people who love to be with women and enjoy women’s conversations.
Warning: parts of SWOON personally made me rather dissatisfied with my guy! I knew he was a non-talker when we got married so that was not the issue. It is more that he is never interested in what I am doing or saying unless I kick him in the shins. He cannot pick a gift that I might like and he is not interested in figuring out how to change that. He did get me the professional stove that I wanted and the solar panels I insisted upon and our energy efficient home is a work of art. He is an incredible architect and a great father to 3 daughters and that makes him a kind of a lady’s man in his own right!
We are not a society that produces many new Lady’s Men any more. The social media sites discourage long conversations, simple walks, and lazy suppers over wine. We are into instant, short and sweet, and bling – collecting bling and extravagant events as though we are putting notches on the belt. The Casanovas’, Don Juans, Duke Ellingtons, Dr. Carl Jungs , Franz Liszts, David Nivens, Jack Londons, Warren Beattys, and Ashton Krutcher’s are about depth and meaning and wholeness not the trophy number of one night stands.
I think you will find a remarkable and noteworthy read in SWOON.