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A Divine Listener

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I consider myself an artist in the actions of change.  I find it easy to change my mind or act because I have practiced my skills and acknowledged my values and emotions in each situation with finesse.  I have created several charts which outline the basic steps of decision making and change. Some steps I can glide through and other times I need to stop and take stock – reconnoiter the situation and not just dive blindly.

Sometimes I just need to start over and try something new – refresh my style.

One of the primary components of making change is talking with other people.  There are the familiar folks that you always talk over issues with, but I am talking about new voices.  Some people are experts in their field and one needs to know their expertise so the conversation or interview can be part of your research towards making the right choice or decision.

I encourage all high school age and college bound folks to go and visit the career planning advisers, they have a wealth of ways to assist in making choices and discovering new paths.  Some like to talk in their familiar ruts and some like to make the conversation an adventure.  What is your style?

Many people write in a journal to have conversations with themselves, they even go back and color code certain words to assist in getting a clarity and perspective.  They notice the repetitively used emotions and word descriptions; analyzing their value or hindrance.

If you want to get at the root cause of a problem that is constricting the change, one might hire a counselor to help dig out the road blocks, yield and stop signs being encountered.

Sometime one just needs to say the words right out loud and hear them – process the words through their auditory systems of analysis.

I recently was gifted with three sessions of a life coaching system practiced  by Davina of Shades of Crimson. Davina uses active listening and one’s own words to move the thinking and expressing in new directions.

She calls it a Symbolic Modeling and in her own words:

During a Symbolic Modeling session I will repeat your words back to you in the exact manner you speak them, followed by a question. Repeating your words back to you lets you know you’ve been heard. As you hear the words reflected back to you, the knob turns. You begin to adjust your channel.

I found it to be playful, fun and a mind giggling experience.  I have filled up a small spiral notebook with all the new images and words that come out of the session.

I have changed my mind.

I have a very clear image of what I will look like when I define myself as healthy now.  I can feel the being stung by a bee or the chugging of the steam engine up the mountainous track that made my words anchors against the tide and flow.

It’s all in the chemistry of the synapses and when one can turn the knob or dial back the volume, what fun is that?

Davina is offering this exercise in listening up for the first 10 folks who will pay for the phone call.  She has a bigger description and details on her site.

I would just like to say a Gigantic Thank you for the experience.  It changed me.   I came away from each phone call pleasantly surprised and more importantly SATISFIED – better than chocolate or a hot bath, and almost in the same league as a 90 minute massage.

It is a great process for rediscovery and truly hearing oneself think.   I recommend it highly.

Has someone listening to you made a change for you?  Do you think talking is a necessary step in the process of change?   Have you felt satisfied after being heard?  Do you think you might give this a try?

Please share your thoughts , I look forward to you comments

Related posts:
How We Make Decisions and Changes
Lessons
Question Career Planning Classes
90 Seconds of Anger 90 Seconds of Happiness

18 Responses to “A Divine Listener”

  1. Hilary Says:

    Hi Patricia .. this is interesting. I don’t like to talking to other people in depth … because they always take their angle (and that’s a problem with a lot of conversations .. and again re decisions requiring to be made) and they cannot (or do not) look at the problem from your side and understand why you’re asking and where you are at.

    So many times you ask a question – and people haven’t listened and just answer – it makes me so upset .. because you want to engage – but you’re brushed off.

    I have to say I mull things over a lot – a) it gives time for change to happen, which can often enlighten the process & b) things happen and my thought processes change .. at the moment I’m mulling and thank goodness I haven’t made a decision, set a course – which I know I will regret .. it may happen, but then it’s a matter of the last resort in this challenge.

    I like your diamond and triangle explanations .. and the jump – maybe meld (blend) is an alternative?

    I’m so pleased that Davina is helping you so much .. and we learn so much from you both .. thank you – Hilary

  2. vered | blogger for hire Says:

    Sounds like a wonderful experience! I still need to work on my own active listening skills. I do believe it can make a huge difference.
    .-= vered | blogger for hire´s last blog ..Ten Things I’ve Learned After Two Years of Blogging =-.

  3. Patricia Says:

    Hilary,
    Davina did not add her perspective to the conversation until the very end – for 40 minutes her game called forth images from my brain and energy – my words. I have done years of active listening as a counselor, but this is radically different and truly jiggles or giggles the brain synapses – very fun too.

    Vered,
    It is a wonderful experience. I would suggest that you might indulge in just one session – it is different from active listening in that you are truly just challenging your own thinking. Very efficient and makes the endorphins kick into my equations. It is confidential.
    .-= Patricia´s last blog ..A Divine Listener =-.

  4. Davina Says:

    Patricia
    I absolutely love how you’ve described this! Jiggles or giggles the brain synapses, and “Some like to talk in their familiar ruts and some like to make the conversation an adventure.”

    I want to hug you right now. It’s so exciting to see people “get it” and more importantly… to get themselves or to be comfortable with the process OF getting themselves. I’ve just realized after reading this post, that it even goes beyond me listening to you. Wow. The bottom line is that you are listening to yourself in NEW ways. It’s like a massage for the brain synapses…. This process gets me all excited. Can you tell?

    I can’t say how pleased I am that you have been open to exploring this with me. Thank you.
    .-= Davina´s last blog ..Getting Sensual with Creativity =-.

  5. Davina Says:

    Oh, to clarify the offer though. Sessions are free of charge for the first 25 hours of coaching; each session is an hour. Callers are responsible for the cost of the call.
    .-= Davina´s last blog ..Getting Sensual with Creativity =-.

  6. Patricia Says:

    Davina…I hope some more folks give this a try – Yes I can tell you are excited and so am I. Thanks for the clarification here too.

    What an offer….fabulous.
    .-= Patricia´s last blog ..A Divine Listener =-.

  7. Sara Says:

    Patricia — I really appreciate this post.

    I can also echo what you’ve said. I’ve had my own Davina experience and loved it. It’s very helpful to have someone help me see things in my life in new ways.

    What’s really cool about Davina is that these “new ways” come from me and not from Davina or someone outside of me…she helps me discover my own healing voice:~)
    .-= Sara´s last blog ..Romancing the Happy Ending =-.

  8. Patricia Says:

    Sara,
    I could not have said it better! And Davina makes it so fun..
    I just think her calendar should be booked solid…
    .-= Patricia´s last blog ..A Divine Listener =-.

  9. Jannie Funster Says:

    Hey, sounds like the Davina Experience is a big success. Davina is so multi-talented.

    I remember the active listening training from teaching classes , but the question at the end sounds like something new to me.

    I do tend to talk to my two closest friends about my very deepest issues and I always feel satisfied and understood.

    How does a session usually begin?

    Thanks, guys!
    .-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Harbinger Of Great Things To Come =-.

  10. Patricia Says:

    Hi Jannie,
    This is really amazing – it is more about listening and hearing yourself, without outside prejudice or opinion…it is dancing with your own brain synapses….it is a way to connect with what is already inside you…
    I started by emailing Davina….and we set up a time and then connected…her questions release images in your brain…it is not like talking out a problem or counseling….it is more like turning on one’s own cortex and memories…changing patterns…I would think it a delightful experience for a musician…creative…
    .-= Patricia´s last blog ..A Divine Listener =-.

  11. Chris Edgar Says:

    Thanks for this Patricia — I get the sense that we don’t realize how valuable just listening to someone can be — we assume that if we aren’t providing solutions or sympathy or something like that, we’re just a potted plant. The most powerful interactions I’ve had with people have actually involved mostly silence.

  12. Patricia Says:

    Chris,
    I agree silence is golden at times. The exercise that Davina is doing here is only as silent as the person being listened too needs – the questions she asks back really change your thinking and made my brain very lively – opened up new channels. Very interesting

  13. Barbara Swafford Says:

    Hi Patricia,

    How fascinating. I know Davina is multi talented and sensing her gentle spirit, I’m like you, I would guess her calender fills up fast.

    You brought up a good point. When our friends and relatives listen to us (or advise us) they have their own agenda, too. Whereas talking to a life coach, their opinions are unbiased and when the tables are turned back on us. we may realize we’re not living our life authentically but instead how others expect us to.
    .-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..I Want More Comments =-.

  14. J.D. Meier Says:

    > I have a very clear image of what I will look like when I define myself as healthy now.
    That’s great. I think seeing the end in mind goes a long way to making it happen.

    I’m a fan of using language and metaphors to paint the way forward in a more compelling way.
    .-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..How To Use a Coach Effectively =-.

  15. Talon Says:

    I think people often forget that real listening involves concentration and silence. And when you speak and are really listened to, it’s very powerful.

    What a great experience, Patricia.
    .-= Talon´s last blog ..Winterscape… =-.

  16. Patricia Says:

    Barbara,
    Since I feel like I have been run by “other” folks beliefs most of my life – I am working on being my own person in my 60s…Doing some of these new and innovative games truly opened up new pathways of thinking…There was no analysis going on – just repeating and questioning…amazing experience

    JD
    I think this exercise was designed around the new knowledge we have about how the brain works and functions. The metaphors actually assist in making new brain synapse connections – one can truly change their mind.

    Talon,
    Powerful, fun and great….I think it would be amazing for the artist to experience and the musician….

  17. Mark Says:

    Sounds like you got value out of this session. I am intrigued.

  18. Patricia Says:

    Mark,
    Valuable for me – by the third session I could feel the brain working differently – a brain game. Worth the effort