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Book Review: The Science of Passion; The Art of Romance ~Ken Tanner

In the spring of 2009, I offered a writing contest about “How Did You Meet?”- the winner of that event was Ken Tanner.

During the summer of 2009, Ken had his book published and asked that I purchase a copy and review the book on this Blog, rather than he receive the cash award for his essay.

I have in my hands the copy of the book, and I read it aloud to my partner while we drove across the State a couple of weeks ago. The book is by a man and written for men and was well received by my man!

In Ken’s own words on the first page:

There are many books available to help those with struggling marriages. This is not one of them. This book is directed at husbands in middle age (like me) who are in solid marriages, yet seek to make them stronger. Perhaps the spark has been missing – the many pressures of kids, work, associates and friends have sapped the energy. How can you reignite that spark, and redirect that renewed energy toward the one person who means so much in your life?

There are 10 scenarios of the Art and the Science of strengthening a relationship. They are straight forward and do not take lots of assistance to figure out the different variables possible from each of the scenarios.

My partner’s first reaction was guilt. I was reading the book to him under the guise of doing a book review but he thought it was because he was falling short in this department of our relationship and he should take heed of the message.

To read the book only took an hour of our travel time. The discussion took up two hours of our time together and produced some very positive in depth conversation. We talked about his favorite anniversary dinner, which was for #15, and he planned and executed a lovely evening at a restaurant away from kids where a series of pearls were delivered with each course by the waiter. 15 new pearls were added that evening to the necklace which he presented me on our wedding night – lovely and thoughtful evening.

We talked about the worst anniversary dinner, where we were celebrating with another couple – our treat – and they refused to order dinner, shared a small salad and would not partake of any beverages except water and absolutely no dessert. The other couple had driven us around all day while they ran errands. We put the other couple’s behavior back onto them and had a great laugh about what a “strange” event it turned out to be.

Now I am not a very romantic person myself and the highest compliment someone can give me is to listen and respond to what I say or write. The book provided some of the best fore-play for our deepest communications and feelings that we have experienced in years. This fellow of mine has now actually read some of my blog posts and talked about them. Self propelled.

The icing on the cake was his conversation and pride about his romantic #15 with his youngest daughter and she kept responding, “Wow that was really, like really romantic Dad!”

We both concluded that this book would most likely get some bedroom action going too for most couples.

The book is now available on Amazon.com and is from Trafford Publishing. Davina of Writer Sense Communications worked on the Editing and Layouts.

Thank you Ken for writing a great common sense and interesting book, and I am hoping that many men will choose to read the book and find connections with their wives.

9 Responses to “Book Review: The Science of Passion; The Art of Romance ~Ken Tanner”

  1. Talon Says:

    How neat that Ken’s book sparked such a great discussion between you and your partner, Patricia. It’s wonderful when we have those types of conversations that allow us to really share our feelings and reconnect like that. I love that your partner was inspired to share your writing – which is always inspiring and beautiful.

    Your 15th anniversary dinner was truly romantic. Kudos to your partner!

  2. J.D. Meier Says:

    I like the way you put the book into practice and turned insight into action.

    It sounds like a great book and I like the fact that it’s scenario-based.

  3. Zeenat{Positive Provocations} Says:

    Hi Patricia,
    This sounds like a wonderful gift i could give my hubby:) If there is something that can spark a good conversation with my hubby…i think the books a keeper. It sound from your review that the ideas and tips expressed in this book are very practical and realistic.
    Thanks for bringing this book to my notice :)

  4. Sara Says:

    Patricia — Congratulations to Ken on winning your contest and for writing his book.

    I agree with J.D. about putting the book in practice when you read it aloud to your husband. It made it so much more real to me.

    It sounds like it would a good book for any relationship.

    Oh, good for husband for actually reading your blog…it’s a great place for him to discover more about you. Like others, I think the 15th was a sensational anniversary. All I can say is WOW:~)

  5. Patricia Says:

    Talon,
    The discussion was very good, but I thought I should point out that my husband thought at first I was suggesting he was in -adequate by reading the book aloud to him. I did not want him or others to think that about the book. Ken Tanner is a good teacher and not a wealthy fellow trying to bling his way into connecting with his wife – that shows in the book.

    It was a good way to at 32 years of marriage for us to look at what we define as romantic – especially when economic times are not conducive to expensive gestures.

    JD
    I believe because the book is scenario based it is quite effective. It would be also more effective if the partner/wife did not know about the reading of the book! What I mean by that is, it is a safe book for fellows to talk about with each other and share the information and how pleased a person would be to know that her/his fellow/partner had initiated reading this book himself.
    I think the book also serves as a yearly planner for those who are want to forget events.

    Zeenat,
    I did have to coax my guy into a discussion and prime the pump so to speak because he was feeling very defensive as I read – but it was worth it as he could share with our daughters about how romantic he has been on special occasions. He has two daughters who are being pursued right now and he is rather amazed – and we did not have the kind of money being spent in our early days. It refreshed our conversation with each other and assisted in helping him not feel “old”.

    Sara,
    I hope Ken will come by and read the comments. It is a very nice book and the scenarios are open to personal interpretation.

    I will not say that my guy read the blog everyday or every post now, but he did admit to thinking it was just something to fill up my time. It did not hurt that he got 400 reads in one afternoon on one of the topics I posted on a blog I write for him! My next goal is to get him a new project into his office.
    He will consider that an extremely romantic gesture on my part!

    I know he still hopes I will get a real job.

  6. Davina Says:

    Hi Patricia. The first thing I asked Ken when I started work on this book was, “Do you have a brother?” :-) I like how reading the book took one hour and inspired two hours of conversation for you and your partner. Now THAT is a book! I hope one day I will be on the receiving end of some “special” romantic treatment.

  7. Patricia Says:

    Davina,
    My partner has 2 brother’s but the attempts at romantic behavior seems to only have found one of them! Did Ken have a brother?

    This is an attempt to be funny: but I think we should send this book to Friar and have him review it! or Brett or Eyeteaguy….now there is a guy with I believe 4 daughters! I think they would have an interesting review of Ken’s book.

    It is a good book and fun.

    And I truly believe you will be on the receiving end of some romantic treatment…..it is coming you way….I can just feel it.

  8. Davina Says:

    Now I’m embarrassed. I can’t remember if Ken has a brother or not. Now that I think of it I don’t remember if he ever answered the question. We chuckled about it and moved on. I really have to get my act together eh? Won’t find any romance that way. :-)

  9. Patricia Says:

    Davina,
    Don’t be embarrassed. It is all fun but it would be nice to know if Ken has an available brother?!
    Thank you for coming back and keeping the conversation going