Part of spring’s endeavor is to set out and see what damage has been made by winter’s cast. I had to prune numerous branches from rhododendrons with frozen rifts. There is a noticeable sag in the raised bed in the side yard and the fencing for privacy needs a fresh coat of paint this year.
Our hedges are downsized so that as our neighbors emerge into yard work and potting frenzies we can wave, exchange words and get caught up in person. Our laurel and rhododendron hedges; stone wall all need attention at this time of the year.
Such is the nature of boundaries – markers in our lives. They need attention and inspection at least once a year. They need pruning, modifying and just plain scrutiny to figure out what they are delineating, enabling, or deflecting. Personal boundaries are the foundation of our ethical behavior and actions. It is important to figure them out and use them well; to your benefit and your preservation.
The bread is just out of the oven and it has a lovely top hat of oven spring, but it needed the shape of the pan to keep it to a useful size and form. Sometimes the bread rises too high and spills over, and sometimes it is too condensed and is distinctly difficult to slice or consume.
Many who live in the USA are quick to hug or extend too fast into personal conversation with strangers and sometimes do not know if this behavior pushes on another’s boundaries and expectations. In the blog world, we need to be quick to clarify and be sure of communications and double check as to what another is interpreting and feeling from our inter dialogue.
Boundaries are not something that is set in stone within us. Boundaries need our attention and when we learn something new they need shifting or re-alignment.
This is not a new activity as a matter of fact I was reminded of one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost called Mending Wall that I wish to share with you:
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing.
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
“Stay where you are until our backs are turned!”
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, “Good fences make good neighbors.”
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
“Why do they make good neighbors? Isn’t it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I’d ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense.
Sometimes there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That wants it down.” I could say “Elves” to him,
But it’s not elves exactly, and I’d rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me,
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father’s saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, “Good fences make good neighbors.”
Do boundaries wall you in or wall you out? Do knowing the scales and chords enhance your music and creativity or restrict? How do you identify your boundaries and make them work for you?