COURAGE  is a new look at how to transform all the knowledge a woman has gained about herself, sorting out the specific stuck places and then acting and responding at full volume within your authentic self – confidently.   It is about mustering the courage to understand the problems, dilemmas, and old definitions, letting go of fear, and then striding out into the world doing what you do best.  It is finding the GIFT in the distress – the reason that it is a part of your journey, and making it work for you at your optimum levels.

I think COURAGE is about moving into one’s fifties, actively moving in the right direction on target, and preparing for the creativity peak in one’s sixties.    There was that old hair color commercial that said: “You are not getting older, You‘re getting better.”   I think COURAGE is about turning the journey so far, and the lessons learned into response-abled wisdom.

Debbie Ford shares her journey as examples in the book and her stories are more down to earth and recitals of the kinds of things that EVERYWOMAN might experience and benefit from the process revealed.   The stories do not need a huge therapeutic intervention they are more likely to open one’s eyes to emotions and shadows and suggest actions that could propel a person forward onto new pathways.

I just felt as though this would be a great book for a support group to use as a guide.  With a few ground rules, a gathering of 6 to 10 women could each have a time to share and be mentored by the others as they completed her exercises and studied the book chapter by chapter.  They could form the cheer leading squad and long term network to assist and serve others in reaching their best selves.  The book is that good.

The book does not go into detail about how to find the stuck spots and the old childhood injuries that created the limits to one’s life,  by then combining this book with the CODE TO JOY, it could be most empowering and this book’s whole goal is to identify the sticking point and create forward motion.

This group could produce a great deal of power, motivation, and COURAGE.

What Motivates You?   Have you ever thought of making a support group for your life and encouragement?

I am grateful to TLC Book Tours and HarperOne for asking me to review this book and sending me a copy.

If you order anything from Amazon or Powell’s, I will receive a few beans in my bucket.  Thank you.

Would you like your own copy of this book?   I can offer a giveaway of one copy for the best comment added to this post.  Random generation of winner.

It is also possible to make a donation to this blog there is a donate button near the top of the page.

SHARING is one of the first things we learned about as a child – It is way cool to SHARE…please find the button below and SHARE.

Related Reading:
We Have Met The Enemy
How To Be Rich and Happy
Transitions
Trust What You Get

Post from: www.patriciaswisdom.com

COURAGE: Overcoming Fear & Igniting Self-Confidence ~Debbie Ford

Reading Situations Matter was pure pleasure.  I savored every section and idea and wondered who would ever think a book about the mundane moments of living, those that we take for granted, would have such a profound effect on our lives and outcomes of our actions?  It was similar to taking a camera outside on a sunny winter’s day and finding the most common item, snapping the picture only to discover that the tiniest details emerged and were revealed to your delight. This image stimulated the mind to make a change in perception that would forever be imprinted.  One would certainly know themselves better.

This is a psychology book or self-help book that was written by an award- winning professor at Tufts University – Sam Sommers.   As much as I enjoyed reading Situations Matter, I am sure I would have enjoyed being in the lecture hall and participating in the seminars even more.   I like reading about studies done and how an author interprets them for us to understand, but when it is entertaining as well that corners my enthusiasm.    I completed the exercises shared in the book, guessed at what the process was going to present to me and  was pleased when I added the author’s interpretation and analysis. I always like to feel like I learned something which would assist me in becoming a better person.  I found myself wanting to tell others about what I was reading and enjoying.

“Research shows that context impacts even the most intimate aspects of our lives, and this conclusion offers to those who embrace it insight as well as competitive advantage.”

The author’s style of writing, conveying information, and storytelling was indeed a part of my attraction for this book. Sommers was definitely asking one to be responsible to what they gained by the experience and to pay attention.  I am sure his humor and entertaining style is a boon to contemporary college students who seem to crave the easy hook.  The author was able to cajole the reader and I am certain the student into making a deeper connection and stimulating some more follow through.  He included lessons gleaned from newborns and 4 year olds that truly puts perspective plainly on the table and opens the eyes to the greater context.   The analysis of some Seinfeld episodes  were as noteworthy as the revelations about why in large urban centers people do not come to the aid of others in crisis and why that is an important survival technique.  City planners need to design this information into their  concepts and expectations processes.   Situations do Matter.

The chapters on Love and Hate I had to read several times.

“When you assume that there’s a true core self waiting to be discovered, that’s when your potential seems limited and the world around you is full of threats to be rationalized away….”

“…you should train yourself to view intellect as a muscle that grows with effort and atrophies with neglect.”

“The self is flexible”

I can highly recommend this book to each one of you and give Situations Matter a 5 ladybug rating.

I want to thank TLC book tours for asking me to review this book and Riverhead Books  part of Penguin for sending me a draft copy early on so I could enjoy the book over several months.

The most amazing fact I learned from this book is that our minds develop US and THEM situational thinking in less time that it takes to sneeze!     Did you read a book recently that helped you change your mind?  Please share it with us in the comments or how about a new fact that made a difference to you?

Looking forward to what you would like to say:

Want to talk about your fact, book or this book review?  Join me at Wise Ears  and we will set up an opportunity.

If you purchase anything from Amazon or Powell’s from this site, I will receive a few beans in my bucket.

Related Reading:
Shiny Objects
You Are Not Your Brain
The Social Animal
Sam Sommers Website

Post from: www.patriciaswisdom.com

Situations Matter : Understanding How Context Transforms Your World ~Sam Sommers

Sometimes when you need it most the right teacher just comes along.  Creation was one of those teachers and an outstanding movie.   I can highly recommend it and one might wish to set aside two times to watch it and realize the depth from the story.

The movie is a biographical drama about the life of Charles Darwin for the year before he wrote his book the Origins of the Species.  The movie is a 2009 BBC production and has all the grace, charm, and skill they are known for putting into period pieces of work. The cast is excellent and one sees the wife, the scientist and the clergy and not Jennifer Connelly, Paul Bethany, and Jeremy Northam, although their names are what drew me to choosing to watch this piece.

The family is struggling with the death of their beloved 9 year old daughter.  This event is the catalyst for Darwin and his wife to see clearly their differences in belief systems.   They are deeply in love, but Darwin’s work in evolution and science has allowed for the release of his belief in the church’s doctrine, whereas the opposite has occurred for his wife, who has become more deeply religious and fears that her husband’s new beliefs will not allow them to be together forever and ever, including the afterlife.  She knows that she will be reunited with her child in that blessed state; she is comforted by her beliefs.

The scientific community is pushing Darwin to publish his work and take the Church to task, which will allow their studies, work and efforts to move forward and progress the thinking of the nation.  Darwin is made physically ill by his mourning, his releasing the belief, his love for his wife and his drive to reveal his knowledge to others and create understanding.  He is in a painful neutral zone of change.

He stops trying to understand it and focuses totally on healing his physical self.  He is able to hear what he needs to hear, and he opens himself to understanding FAITH rather than just believing.  He recovers and he and his family are able to communicate and find their connections; opening to the love they have for each other.

We are witness to a dramatic change process as found within an individual who changed the world’s beliefs in a dramatic way.  I found this profound and enlightening.

I have been struggling with making change in my life, and it has meant the loss of many of my belief systems and finding new behaviors and expressions.   Susan of Today’s Path emailed me about Gregg Braden’s book  The Spontaneous Healing of Belief and I have read this book several times.

Two things began to stand out for me from this book and they are:  How can we be instantly healed? And secondly, why do so many people wish to avoid the struggle and effort that may be involved in the neutral zone of change, when it is only through this effort that we can progress into our greater self?

This movie helped me to understand that a belief can be healed in a second – how one proceeds with living after that healing is whether or not the change will have a lasting effect or be hidden away or even masked by physical symptoms and distress.

Braden, also a scientist, reminds repeatedly that we are hardwired to seek comfort and that a situation usually has to become extremely painful for any lasting change to take place.  We like to stick with what we know and not take on others problems or challenges.

Change does not happen without discomfort.

Darwin did write his book and I read it in college and found new things to believe in from the reading.  Now I read Braden’s book and am finding new things to believe in from studying it.  The movie opened the door of my understanding and it was beautiful story telling.

Inspiring! 

Have you watched a movie that assisted you in understanding a change you were making? Please share it with us.

If you purchase anything from Amazon or Powell’s from this site, I will receive a few beans in my bucket.

No one paid or promoted this review and I was not given a copy of the movie or the books.

Congratulations are in Order!

Susan Blake is the winner of the stunning book Precious Seconds, by Terrill Welch. Thank you for each one of you who comments on my blog and to all the wonderful readers, I am thankful for your words.

Related Reading you might also enjoy:
Red Fox – Good Morning
Sometimes a Gift is Just Right
Healing Change Healing Action
Change Artist in Action

Post from: www.patriciaswisdom.com

Creation – A Movie Review

Laurie wrote a great post at HolEssence asking the reader  What do you DO with fear.   It was an action question and I thought a very good one for Halloween.

This post provided me with the opportunity to share my action plan, which I wrote about in the comments section and have included on this post – take note, it is an action.

“I always use October to work on my “fear” and bring up new awareness and insight….I have a special (well one of my kids old spiral notebooks they did not use up) journal I use each new October. Similar to the early people who lit big bonfires and tried to clean their fields of fearful intruders, I try to shed light on what worries me or concerns me….and then study how to relieve those fears. I believe then I will be ready to advance myself to finding my better self in the dark of winter when I am not distracted by the whims of outdoors and can turn on the light to my gifts and talents.

I am currently tackling whether or not I will be able to sing again, by joining the Olympia Peace Choir with my 5 notes of sound post surgery. I am also working- building my immune system so I can go  for a visit and not get another virus that swells my joints and brings so much pain….I am truly afraid to experience this again. And I am diving deeply into what is stopping me from losing weight – what am I hanging on to?

I think this is more what Halloween is about than costumes and candy, which now the adults in my area have made bigger than the children’s celebrations….I think it is now a big cover up of what they need to address in themselves. One in 5 adults is on anti-depressants these days – we need to learn how to use our fear to help us grow…not mask and hide it”

I have also doubled my exercise time and not done so much online time these past few weeks, because as I work on pain relief, I am finding myself depressed about my status and that is fear directed at myself.   So besides talking to myself in my journal, I am talking with a professional in the healing arts – more action.  If I keep it all inside, I will be slipping down a slippery slope.

This may sound a bit perverse, but I was always happy when my children experienced depression in their teen years, because while they were in a safe environment – still protected by me, I was able to find ways for them to learn how to deal with depression without medication or drugs, but it always involved action and usually talking with someone.  We did not try to mask or cover up, instead we said Depression is a part of being a full human being – it is like brushing your teeth, you need to be aware and preventative, but also take care and take action when there is a problem.

Most people experience depression in their own unique way, but the outward symptoms are quite similar in most people. It is often a response to a deeply seeded fear.

So I will ask the same question as Laurie did on her blog, “What do you DO with fear?”

I will also share this link with you of Chris Brogan’s that depression is an offline activity and is very difficult to recognize in the online world.

I hope you will share this post with your friends, because I am worried about all those people feeling depressed and fearful and I hope my words might assist them in actively pursuing some relief.  They need to feel wonder full and hopeful.

Here are some more words that just might provide a real treat:
A Divine Listener
How To Be Sick
You Are Not Your Brain
Exercising the Emotions

Post from: www.patriciaswisdom.com

What are you Afraid of?

I have been conscientiously working on trusting what I am receiving in my life.  One thing I did recently was to totally focus on my pain and relief from that physical pain.   A secondary part of my 4 hours a day of pain relief healing was to go back and review all the notes I have taken from the books I have reviewed.   This study brought me back to a personal favorite – How to Be Rich and Happy.

Once again I was not disappointed and was so inspired by my notes, I proceeded to read the book for the third time.  I wished I had been able to have this book when I was teaching career planning, life planning, and women’s re-entry programs at the community college.  How to Be Rich and Happy is a superb textbook and in a group setting could not help but be life changing.

“Rich and Happy is the ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want.”

How to Be Rich and Happy has an impressive format, examples, appropriate quotes, charts, exercises, and humor.   I was trusting that results the first time I did the exercises would not prove to be too off base with my new results.  I could see I was still working with the same 5 major values of my life but that as I had worked the formula already, it was apparent that one or two had switched priority zones. I felt as though I was truly walking my talk and values.  This was encouraging and inspiring.

Humor is an important part of the change process for me, because I often need to laugh at a belief I am holding onto in rather intense fashion to promote new and creative thinking.   When I found a moment of pain relief, I often wanted to put myself on hold and stay in that position.  My resistance to change would enable another pain or suffering to speak to me from another spot; foot pain relieved and now translating into a huge headache or muscle spasms.   The pain was teaching me the formula from this book.    It was a step by step process that kept building on the last concept or idea – it flowed.

I truly value good communication skills and the chapter on how we use language was simply a powerful reminder to not only visualize the desired outcome but also to express the changes in the best words possible.

“When approached the right way, a person’s life history, challenges, physical attributes, work problem, relationship stories, EVERYTHNG is a valuable asset.  And that includes personal tragedy.  After, all, the greatest inspirational movies, books, and speeches are the ones where the main character overcomes an obstacle that looks bigger than them.”

The first time I read the book, I explored all the tutorials which are part of the website, another great asset and I started reading regularly the blog of both authors.

I highly recommend this book especially to high school students, college students, and life/ career coaches, the unemployed – it is a valuable, hopeful resource.

The authors are working at giving away free copies of this book and I am trying to persuade several service organizations to pay the postage for the hard cover copies of the book;  they have a Million Dollar goal.

I purchased my own copy of this book in 2010 and you can purchase a copy from this site and I will receive a few beans in my bucket.

Trust me – this book is worth it and I gave it to my children for graduation gifts.

For more information about the authors:
John Strelecky -  Big Five for Life
Tim Brownson  - A Daring Adventure

HOW TO BE RICH AND HAPPY (also available on kindle):

If you liked what you read here please subscribe by RSS or email.  You might also enjoy reading my words on my other sites  Wise Ears and Biking Architect.

Related Reading:
You are Not Your Brain
Willpower
The Procrastination Equation
The Long Goodbye

Post from: www.patriciaswisdom.com

How to Be Rich and Happy ~by John P. Strelecky and Tim Brownson

Social Psychologist Roy Baumeister and John Tierney a New York Times Science writer have combined efforts to create a comprehensive study of the human resource known as WILLPOWER or self control – it is strength and wisdom.

This well written study has so many on target points and definitions that I can think of no one who would not benefit from reading and using the material in this book.  I am just concerned that those of us who truly NEED to read and use the material in this book are too distracted.

I hereby make this book an assignment of required reading with a 3 page paper about how you used this information in your life and how you persuaded someone you know to also read this book and use the material within its pages.

Well, that will never happen but it is certainly worth a try!

“The good news is that while self-control is biologically rooted, we have the capacity to manipulate our nature. Willpower features personal stories from entrepreneurs, executives, artists and parents who have managed to do just that. People like David Blaine, Eric Clapton, Mary Karr, and Oprah Winfrey offer life-changing lessons in the exercise of self-control.  Their experiences show that we can not only build willpower, but also conserve it for crucial moments by setting the right goals and using the best techniques for monitoring our progress. Once we establish the correct habits, willpower gets easier.”

I was fascinated that the research of Piers Steel, in the Procrastination Equation, was also cited in this work along with the Cornell Food Studies MINDLESS EATING by Brian Wansink.

Information Overload is definitely on our plates these days, and I believe we will be seeing many more of these books about self-control and how to organize and not waste our time and living.

We all have a willpower muscle.  I know, lots of counselors, teachers and advisers told us we did not have to use willpower to guide us or direct us.  For awhile it was just a matter of self-esteem and we distributed hugs, love pats, certificates, great grades, and praise by the bushel load to keep motivation at high levels.  OOPS!  We now know those things did not build our willpower and strength – they only contributed to our need to be exteriorly motivated.

Now we know, that to build our willpower we must process our accomplishments – doing the work, practicing and understanding what we do – the art of learning and thinking.   It is another inside job; the muscle is not built up by exterior praise, it is built from self-control, discipline, and achievements.

One of the stunning pieces of information sharing was that the willpower system of our bodies is the same one for each process we are undertaking.   So if you have used all your self-control at work or school all day, one needs to stop doing what they are doing and replenish their supply – refresh the muscle – before endeavoring onto another activity.

Here are some ways to built up your WILLPOWER Muscle and renew your strength:

• Understand how you body uses glucose and what is the best source of glucose for you
• “Preconditions” – have a list of what you are going to accomplish and then sticking to it when something depletes your reserve supplies.  I do this by making a menu plan for the week, and preparing all the food for the week on one day; having the right sized plates and bowls – so I am not tempted to wander or binge
• Find a system/discipline which works for you and use it regularly – use this system to prioritize emails, time, meetings, and interactions – create flexible boundaries and have a plan B and plan C to draw upon.
• Find Gratitude and pleasure in your successes and accomplishments
• EXERCISE regularly – when you think you do not have time is when you need it the most.
• Know how you PROCRASTINATE and what are your cues and stimulus.  Recognize DECISION FATIGUE  -“People have a hard time giving up options even when the options are not doing them any good.”

I need to stop here, this book is 304 pages of easy to read and understand words about how to recognize the strengths of your willpower and how to use information and strengthen this muscle unit so it becomes one of your greatest assets.

Parents this is another skill that children need to learn.  This book is about teaching children to have their greatest success and creativity.

I believe we will be seeing lots of books emerging in this area because we are a society right now without a great deal of self-control and we are easily distracted and by such inconsequential “Bling”.

I am so happy that TLC book tours and The Penguin Press asked me to read and share this book with you.   I enjoyed it very much and as I like to try on and integrate the ideas from books, I thought this was another wise choice and I recommend it to you.

If you purchase anything from Amazon from this site, I will receive a few beans in my bucket.

Giveaway: of this book will happen on  September 12,2011 and chosen by a drawing from the comments section of this post.

If you liked what you read here you might also enjoy my other sites:  Wise Ears and Biking Architect

Do you have a book that inspires you to make change?  Do you think it does a body good to strengthen your willpower?  What is your greatest tool?

Related Reading:
The Social Animal
We Have Met The Enemy
You Are Not Your Brain

Post from: www.patriciaswisdom.com

WILLPOWER: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength ~ Roy F. Baumeister & John Tierney

I have been following Terrill Welch on her blog Creative Potager.  Welch wanders around Mayne Island, British Columbia with her paints and camera; it is a delight to hike with her step by step along the way and see what she sees.   I so enjoy her posts where the wandering leads one from the back painting right to a finished canvas of her work.  Recently we went with the Study in Blue right to the gallery show and party.

Her snippets of writing are also clear and poignant insights to some idea or vision which has nestled in her thoughts.

In my explorations, I discovered that Welch had worked for the Provincial Government and specifically with empowering women to become leaders and strengthen their communities.  Her workbook is powerfully written and an amazing resource for women who need to lead and to educate; to bring about positive change within their lives.  The book would be consistent with a workbook that accompanied a workshop or a classroom setting, and then becomes a resource as continued reference.

Using examples and words that are useful to the folk one is instructing is an important skill in information sharing.  This workbook does just that and the created coaching session that ends each chapter is very skillfully drawing attention to the harder issues and inner thinking of women as they begin, change, or end projects and evaluate their roles and performance.

The book has a very nice layout which makes it more user friendly.  It is quite pleasant to hold and the print is easy to read.  When I was working at the local college and doing some organizing with students, I would have so enjoyed having a copy of this book to recommend to the reading list.

I believe the chapter titles will help you understand the intentions of the author:
#1 Women’s Way of Leading: A Feminist Between Engagements – the dance
#2 Raspberry Jam Visions:  Coach Farfalla and Sarah: Getting started
#3 Persistence As The Stitches Between Vision and Success: Coach Farfalla and Jean: persistence – the plan!
#4 The Multiplicity of Success: Coach Farfalla and Katie: success- contextualizing!
#5 Understanding through Representation: Coach Farfalla and Janice: Representation-embrace difference!
#6 Waking Up More Than Your Coffee With Unpredicted Change: Coach Farfalla and Rachael: Unpredictable change – predictable!

Terrill Welch is a coach and the book includes a 2 page biography of her many degrees and her working credentials.  She describes herself as – A Woman Behind Women.  It is an apt description.  The book cover states: “Terrill Welch’s life-long learning objective is to facilitate social change through action-oriented opportunities.  Her work is designed and delivered specifically to meet the needs of women with leadership responsibilities.  An executive coaching client once commented that ‘she is this extraordinary powerhouse of a woman wrapped up in the most gentle of spirits.’”

This book is a gem.

Have you found a source of information that you reference all the time and encourages your work? What kind of coaching is important in assisting you in making change?

If you purchase anything from Amazon from this site I will receive a few beans in my bucket.  Donations to this site are also greatly appreciated.

I invite you to explore my other sites:  Biking Architect, where we talk about green design and the joy of biking, and WISE EARS which is the link to my Professional Listening Services.

Related Reading:
The Procrastination Equation
You Are Not Your Brain
The Social Animal
We Have Met the Enemy

Post from: www.patriciaswisdom.com

Book Review: Leading Raspberry Jam Visions Women’s Way ~Terrill Welch

Just the title of this book alone is quite a mouthful, but it is well worth the read and the book came in great timing for me when I was feeling stuck in my healing and changing.  I am reading it for the 3rd time.

Both authors are specialists in the area of Neuroscience and Human Behavior and work at UCLA medical school.  Dr. Schwartz is a leading researcher in the area of self-directed neuroplasticity.  I will say that I was very thankful that my copy of this book came early enough for me to read the book twice.  The writers have taken tough to understand terms and given them easier to comprehend labels such as the “uh-oh center”   and truly defined the concept mindfulness and removed the concept of thinking from its realm.

I have often thought I just do not write down enough affirmations or that I do not believe strongly enough and that is why I am not succeeding at making changes. This is not about the power of positive thinking, this is about changing deceptive chemical changes that cause habitual behavior.  But these doctors say that is not the problem at all.  These are thinking strategies and not mindful strategies because we have habitual deceptive brain messages pouring into our brains all the time and we need to acknowledge and name these for what they are in order to move beyond and find our true self.

Here are a couple of examples:   I did one of the early exercises in the book about discovering and recognizing these deceptive brain messages, which are just emotional and chemical release habits. The first time through the exercise I chose food cues and low and behold up came, “You must belong to the clean your plate club to save the starving children in some foreign country.” Now intellectually I have known this message is not true, but there it was popping up and I could hear my mother saying it.  I found 10 similar messages that just popped up right away.

Once I had finished the exercise, I began discovering even more messages, like every time I went past a certain building I thought, “I wish I was going out to lunch with someone today or had a lunch date on my calendar.”  Whenever I passed a grocery store out came my most recent menu planning schedule.  No lie, but the end of the week I had ID nearly 100 deceptive brain messages about food.   Just old habit messages that had nothing to do with the present but they did stimulate an emotional response and cued up my systems desire to respond and relieve the uncomfortable ones in the same old ways.

These old habit messages stopped the new healthy messages I was attempting to add to my positive habits list.  I could not believe how often I was thinking about food – all day long.

I just finished writing a post for my blog Biking Architect, and right away the deceptive message – you should have a food reward came popping up – about 90 seconds worth of chemical release.

Now that I am recognizing these deceptive messages in this area of my life, I can find them in other areas of my life and follow the 4 steps:
#1 Relabel
#2 Reframe
#3 Refocus
#4 Revalue

This program and ideas can be used for chronic worry, avoidance, overeating, lying, over thinking (worry), drug and alcohol addictions, depression, avoidance and any habit with is not making our lives full of contentment and joy – anything which keeps us from the potential of our most authentic selves.

Habits have been taught and programmed into our brains and can be changed and modified.  This book is a great study in how to do this retraining and making big changes in our lives – using our own brains.

I would like to say that as I completed the exercises – IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY – but it has been very satisfying.   I think this is a good book about the lessons I learned from caring for a child with a lesion in her brain over long term memory (think stroke) and working at retraining other parts of the brain to take over some of those missing functions.
I just feel like happy dancing when I can recognize a deceptive message – label it as such and move in a different direction – make a new pathway.

Emotional Intelligence is vital to understanding how our habits are formed and how to change them to work better for us and create more joy and satisfaction in our lives.

I did receive a copy and am very happy about reading this book from TLC book tours and the  Penguin Group publisher.  If you purchase anything from Amazon from this site I will receive a few beans in my bucket.

Related Reading:
Exercising the Emotions I
Exercising the Emotions II
The Female Brain Gone Insane
90 seconds of anger 90 seconds of happiness

Post from: www.patriciaswisdom.com

You are Not Your Brain: The 4-Step Solution for Changing Bad Habits, Ending Unhealthy Thinking, and Taking Control of Your Life ~ Jeffrey Schwartz, M.D. and Rebecca Gladding, M.D.

Unfinished Business is a wonderful autobiography of a man’s life.  It is one of those new life stories that just picks one aspect of the life and then tucks in other pieces of the journey as necessary to complete the picture.  Lee Kravitz is working with the question of what are aspects of his life that he has been ignoring because of current endeavors; which of these items would make the meaning of his life more worthwhile if he gave them some attention and resolution.

He is an admitted workaholic journalist, who had a top of the line position in the powerful eastern seaboard of the USA.  He was married later in life and he was letting his wife do most of the parenting while working hard and long at keeping their finances secure and forthcoming.  Then he was “let go” with a good severance package in the economic downturn.  His wife persuaded him to go to a meditation retreat and with her support he decided to take a year to uncover and complete some of the unfinished business in his life.

Gail Sheehy begins the foreword, “Lee Kravitz loved his work.  He lived it.  It was not only his identity, it was his demon.  Like many men in high-powered careers, his mind was almost always occupied by his work, even if his body was at home or on vacation.”

Kravitz compiled a list of important connections to remedy in his life and settled on the top ten.  He also wanted to find more time to spend with his children and free up his wife to focus on her own business she was creating.  This top ten seemed as though it was a list that could be completed.

1.Finding a long lost relative
2.Making a condolence call
3.Repaying a long overdue debt
4.Reaching out to a distant friend
5.Letting go of a grudge
6.Seeking spiritual guidance from a mentor
7.Taking the road not taken
8. Healing family wounds
9.Eulogizing a loved one
10.Keeping a promise

My favorite quotes about Kravitz journey came from his mentor, who it turns out just may have been a mentor to me, when I lived in Cleveland, Ohio during my high school years!

“Love takes work.  It demands that you put yourself in the shoes of another person- and understand where that person is coming from – before you speak or act.”

“Love of this sort can be inconvenient, unpleasant, and costly.”      Tony Jarvis

I think we are going to be seeing quite a few more of this style of book in the market place in the near future.  I have dubbed them the Boomer Generation Manuals:  how to change gears and move forward in life as the rules and paradigms change; often written by out of work and what to do next folks.

This book does include a study guide for book groups and a how to start and work on your own UNFINISHED BUSINESS guide.    For more information one can go to the book site and share your own personal stories and get tips on how to get started.

This book was written by a journalist, who has a beautiful command of the English language and uses his words with style and grace.   It is a very nice book to read.   I think it could inspire many individuals to take care of their own UNFINISHED BUSINESS and to connect graciously with their family and friends.  I can envision support groups and study groups gathering around this topic similar to the Voluntary Simplicity Movement

I rate this book

Two more thoughts about this book:  First, I was very happy that I squeezed in three novels between reading the list of self-help books I have been reviewing lately and secondly, I would like to know where Mr. Kravitz is working now after he lost his job and his “take” on ageism in the workplace – as not all of us are going to get good severance packages.

I received a copy of this book from Bloomsbury-Walker & Co. publishers and am participating in the TLC Online book tours.    If you purchase this book from my site via Amazon I will receive a few beans in my bucket.

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Have you got some unfinished business that you need to take care of as you age?

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Post from: www.patriciaswisdom.com

Unfinished Business: One Man’s Extraordinary Year of Trying to do the Right Things ~Lee Kravitz

Sunflower

As of late, I have something stuck in my head and it keeps rising up like the head of a sleeping snake.  There are moments when it hisses and prepares to strike.   I just get so upset when they come in the middle of the night.

It is not like the tune to a song or the lyrics to an advertising jingle, rather it is more a constant rehash of the offending statements made by a person in my community or in the media.

My newly elected representative to the House of Representatives keeps making these amazing statements that cause me to wake in the middle of the night and go over and over what she has said.   It makes me study her campaign website and her congressional site and to thoroughly read her response letters.

I can not find anything nice to say about her.  It is easy to see that she is conservative and feels empowered by her election to carry out her own agenda and claim it is representing this district.   She is definitely carrying out her own agenda and not even the Republican agenda (though it fits in her pocket nicely) but she is truly only representing herself and her own ideas.

That she is systematically bulldozing all the projects that I have worked on all my life, that she “hates” children, veterans, and immigrants  and anyone who needs assistance in their lives or a helping hand; in my humble opinion those are all straight-forward easy to witness ideas that will get her defeated in the next election cycle.  We have sent this kind of individualistic, self-serving person off to the Capital before and they have had a turn.  That is part of Democracy.

So what is bothering me and letting me choose to suffer and keep this individual in my mind?

My initial thought was that it was because she is flying under the wire and appears to be just fitting in with the conservative leadership, thus she is appearing to be a follower and can weave her web and work her plan rather away from the public eye.  That is troublesome but it is not IT.

My second thoughts centered on her being a rigid thinker.  Well over 50% of the adult population becomes “rigid” in their thinking as they grow older.  Yep even Liberals become rigid in their thinking capacity as they age; for that matter so do Radicals and Progressives.   So as scary as it is to have elected someone to office who is a rigid thinker so young, we know how to handle rigid thinking as a society – we often call it maturity or coming to our senses!

So I keep being harassed by this person and her words – and I keep choosing to be awakened in the night to crawl into the pain and suffering that my thinking keeps hissing at me.   It is alive within me.

This morning I understand what is niggling me and so deeply making me confront my aroused fears.   It is her HATE and the depth of her HATE that I can not abide.

It is hate wrapped up in sophisticated garb and a confident air.   It is hate that is masked by the power grabbing and confusion.   It is not boiling over in tantrums and noise, but it is there and it is making the HATE within me come alive and rise up.

When my children were small and I was teaching them about the world and some of the problems of the world, I would remind them of the feeling that they get inside when they hear a police siren or fire truck horn coming down the road.  I told them when they felt that feeling inside when they were with someone that is a warning; get away from that situation and give yourself space to sort it out away from that situation.  Get away. It is your inner self telling you that you might not be safe.

My life’s work is to work on being loving and kind.   So arrives my new teacher coiled and ready to strike.  Here is my next workout and my next fear to understand.
I must now confront my capacity and expression of Hate.

I need concentration and focus.  I am healing by exploring my hate.  I am choosing to change and grow; I am choosing to learn from this teacher.  I am choosing not to suppress this emotion into high blood pressure, heart attack or a stroke. I am choosing not to bury these feeling with food or distraction.

Do you confront or distract?  What do you do when something is alive within you?
Do you choose to beat it with a stick or simmer it on the stove?  What is it you are valuing and learning?   How do your teachers arrive?

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Post from: www.patriciaswisdom.com

Being Alive – Another Teacher Arrives