Transitions II: Congratulations to All Graduates
Transitions abound at this time of year, there are so many Graduates and marriages and passages to be celebrated and recognized for their achievement. Recently in my newspaper the list of deaths have been exceedingly long as have the petitions to the court for divorce and this made me feel as though I should just share a word about transitions and the stages we pass through.
Transitions have three distinct parts and they have all the emotions you want to include in the process.
The stages are Endings, Neutral Zones and Beginnings.
ENDINGS are the stopping of one part of your living activities and beginning the steps of moving into the neutral zone. We celebrate the endings of being single with weddings, the endings of marriage with divorce decrees and the endings of high school with graduation ceremonies and retirement with gold watches and speeches; death with memorials.
THE NEUTRAL ZONE this is the area of just moving forward – towards the beginning. It might assist you to think that this is a rebound date, or counseling after a divorce to figure out who you are as a single again, the packing for college or a new job, finding an apartment and roommates, the honeymoon, the memorial service, the packing up of items and giving them to a charity, selling a house, and all those things that you do while waiting. Institutions often call this a brainstorming period of time as they prepare and visualize the changes they need to make. This period of time can take up to 2 or 3 years. I just read WALTER’S MUSE which is a book about a teacher retiring and she gave herself a neutral zone summer play before she was going to think about her new life ahead and make plans.
The neutral zone usually ends with a dilemma or a problem resolved
One just recognizes the new beginning
BEGINNINGS This is the point where we step onto our new pathway. We may step out of the Neutral Zone and still have to try on several distinct trails/trials before we get into full swing; there can be false starts here as one figures out how to work the plan and the reward is the passion one feels when they finally get on their own route to success. Yes it does happen for some very rapidly and very slowly for others.
Transitions are often visualized as a bridge and that might make it clearer to understand.
College is often just a neutral zone, which might include several job attempts before the career path is revealed. I have a friend who finished college in Economics and after a couple of years of working in that field was burned out (false starts). Surprise! She had an opportunity to decorate a new sailboat cabin. She was so passionate about this project she went on to get a Master’s Degree in Design and now designs the living spaces on yachts. With the economic downturn she was able to predict what was happening and get a part time clerking job to support her design work and not miss out on her life’s pleasure.
In TRANSITIONS one needs to be more open to possibilities, make thoughtful decisions, and Trust what you get. JUMP decisions are problematic when making big transitions in life, but they can be just the thing if one has done all the work in the neutral zone to make it a cumulative positive transition.
Have you found your passion? Can you look back and see the stages you went through when you made a life changing transition?
If you need someone to talk to about a transitions you are making visit us at WiseEars
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