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What are you Afraid of?


Laurie wrote a great post at HolEssence asking the reader  What do you DO with fear.   It was an action question and I thought a very good one for Halloween.

This post provided me with the opportunity to share my action plan, which I wrote about in the comments section and have included on this post – take note, it is an action.

“I always use October to work on my “fear” and bring up new awareness and insight….I have a special (well one of my kids old spiral notebooks they did not use up) journal I use each new October. Similar to the early people who lit big bonfires and tried to clean their fields of fearful intruders, I try to shed light on what worries me or concerns me….and then study how to relieve those fears. I believe then I will be ready to advance myself to finding my better self in the dark of winter when I am not distracted by the whims of outdoors and can turn on the light to my gifts and talents.

I am currently tackling whether or not I will be able to sing again, by joining the Olympia Peace Choir with my 5 notes of sound post surgery. I am also working- building my immune system so I can go  for a visit and not get another virus that swells my joints and brings so much pain….I am truly afraid to experience this again. And I am diving deeply into what is stopping me from losing weight – what am I hanging on to?

I think this is more what Halloween is about than costumes and candy, which now the adults in my area have made bigger than the children’s celebrations….I think it is now a big cover up of what they need to address in themselves. One in 5 adults is on anti-depressants these days – we need to learn how to use our fear to help us grow…not mask and hide it”

I have also doubled my exercise time and not done so much online time these past few weeks, because as I work on pain relief, I am finding myself depressed about my status and that is fear directed at myself.   So besides talking to myself in my journal, I am talking with a professional in the healing arts – more action.  If I keep it all inside, I will be slipping down a slippery slope.

This may sound a bit perverse, but I was always happy when my children experienced depression in their teen years, because while they were in a safe environment – still protected by me, I was able to find ways for them to learn how to deal with depression without medication or drugs, but it always involved action and usually talking with someone.  We did not try to mask or cover up, instead we said Depression is a part of being a full human being – it is like brushing your teeth, you need to be aware and preventative, but also take care and take action when there is a problem.

Most people experience depression in their own unique way, but the outward symptoms are quite similar in most people. It is often a response to a deeply seeded fear.

So I will ask the same question as Laurie did on her blog, “What do you DO with fear?”

I will also share this link with you of Chris Brogan’s that depression is an offline activity and is very difficult to recognize in the online world.

I hope you will share this post with your friends, because I am worried about all those people feeling depressed and fearful and I hope my words might assist them in actively pursuing some relief.  They need to feel wonder full and hopeful.

Here are some more words that just might provide a real treat:
A Divine Listener
How To Be Sick
You Are Not Your Brain
Exercising the Emotions

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20 Responses to “What are you Afraid of?”

  1. Pat Says:

    Hello Patricia,

    I found your site through WONDERS IN THE DARK (where it seems we are both frequent commenters).

    I admire you for establishing a time and a way to face and understand your fears. In my experience, fears can be overwhelming and paralyzing and it takes a great deal of courage to face them squarely – but when I’ve been able to, it’s led to great personal growth.

    It’s also refreshing to me that you treat depression as a recurring, natural part of life, albeit one that must be addressed. To me, it seems our society is so intolerant of sadness, so focused on bullet-point lists of Ways to Feel Better. I find that when I have experienced mild depresison in my life, it has been – if I let it be – a teached to me about what is and isn’t working in my life.

    Very nice blog – I will definitely be back.

    I will definitely click through to the other articles you link here.

  2. patricia Says:

    Hello Pat,
    I have seen your comments on Wonders and welcome to PW – you are welcomed here. Thank you

    I think we might all be dead but for the gift of our fears – and depression is just a wonder full emotion to help us make change.

    Depression is a great teacher, and I am working on moving through a 4 month depression brought on by physical pain right now….I am learning so much and then adding the information about change and belief systems…Wow I feel like I am being reborn – yep there are tough moments….but it is so worth it on the other side…WOW

    Thank you for your kind words and I am happy to know you will return.

  3. Sara Says:


    It’s good what you shared in this post. Having experienced depression, I agree with both you and Pat…it can teach us a lot about ourselves and our strengths.

    I know you are a very strong woman. You’ve been given some difficult challenges, but I really believe it is the strong ones who willingly take on the challenges. They are the ones who keep going until they find the other side of the mountain.

    It sounds like you’re doing what you need to do for yourself. I’m confident the physical pain will be conquered by your strong will:~)
    Sara recently posted..Story Photo: The WitnessMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Thank you Sara,
    I think I could write this post because I am working through and onto the next phase.

    I just read a post about Depth Hypnosis and I think that women’s experience could actually assist me in faster relief…I do not know how to find a good therapist…there are a ton of Fast Food type hypnosis centers here, but nothing that says depth.

    I have to put nearly 100% of my focus on here daily, to keep improving.

    I adored your post about the witness – what a great Halloween Story You are so creative and talented.

  4. Laurie Buchanan Says:

    Patricia – Thank you for pointing to my blog. And a great big THANK YOU for the link to Chris Brogan.
    Laurie Buchanan recently posted..Asian InspirationMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    You are welcome Laurie
    I thought they were exquisite links to share

  5. Davina Haisell Says:

    Patricia, I think that in today’s society there are more depressed people out there than would care to admit it. It seems to be something people don’t want to deal with or talk about.

    And with fear, people react differently. Some are immobilized with depression, while others find a way to hide it. They look busy and appear to be enjoying life, but under the surface that is not true. The first step in my opinion, is honesty with yourself, and of course reaching out for help — people have trouble asking for help. Denial of those feelings just compounds the situation.

    Fear is contagious too. The media spreads it around on tv and through social media. And we buy into it easily because of our sensitivity. Online it can be a vicious cycle for those who are depressed. They seek comfort or a way to avoid how they are feeling and yet they find themselves buying into more of what they read!

    How do I deal with fear? It depends on the situation. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer as we’re all different; we come from different backgrounds and we’re programmed differently. For example, some folk fear spiders, while others do not. So much depends on perception!

    Bottom line… all clichés aside, checking in with the NOW. Loving yourself. Giving yourself the permission to look inward and not be afraid of what you see in there! Not even looking at it? Well that is like the wee one who believes there is a monster under her bed but she’s afraid to look. My experience has been that what I’m fearing isn’t as real or fearful as I imagined it would be… after I look!
    Davina Haisell recently posted..Lorem Ipsum for the Smarty PantsMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    I just read that 28 million dollars was spent on advertising for children in 2006….the main focus of that advertising was to make consumers of children and teach them that things and spending will make them happy.

    Nearly 1/3 of the ads provoked a depression or fear response if the children could not have the product – intentionally promoted.

    If one has parents that do not know how to handle depression and fear…the kids probably do not either – who will teach them?

  6. Davina Haisell Says:

    … and not only that :)

    We’re great story tellers. We have to be careful of how much we convince ourselves that what we are telling ourselves in our heads is even true! How do we know unless we ask or look?

    patricia Reply:

    Deceptive brain messages are based on our instinctual fight or flight responses.

    Yep we are great story tellers and our minds rush to the rescue
    covering up the need for action and truth.

    excellent questions

  7. J.D. Meier Says:

    I think you hit a key point that we don’t always get some of the most important coping skills for life. Perspective is a big deal, but so is having the tools and techniques to stay empowered and, as you say, keep taking action.
    J.D. Meier recently posted..30 Day Boot Camp for Time ManagementMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    I think you are correct here…but I will say that the first step of every problem solving tool and conflict resolution devise is to STOP the action that you are doing.

    It has taken me nearly 9 weeks of using the Miracle Balls to be able to get enough pain relief to stop the deceptive thinking in my brain…..Then one day in meditation all the noise stopped and I heard the message coming through…clearly and I could see the next ideas to action on the horizon.

    Resistance also brings up a number of stop action tools – takes a great deal of know how and learning to be ones best

  8. suzen Says:

    Hi Patricia! I grew up so fearful and shy it has taken a life time to get myself out of it and just shine, stop worrying, etc. My mom didn’t “mean to” give me such a start, it was just who SHE was and yes that fear is contagious alright. I rarely find anything that makes me fearful anymore, but when I do, I look at it, talk to it and chose to let it go. There are a few fears we should have just to keep us from hitting a train or something, but that is pretty much common sense kind of fears – I don’t those count, do they?
    suzen recently posted..The Gooey Ick of Self-sabotage – Getting Unstuck from Your PastMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    I have one child that was just born with anxiety and when we found out that food dye was pushing it and the Celiac Disease – wow could she explore her world and get free.
    Yes I think we have a lot of safety net fears that need to be in place for our health.

    I remember reading a biography of a Dr. who was kicked out of her work in the USA and went to Canada to continue her research – one year she discovered the relationship of Celiac Disease to Depression and Anxiety and within a year of refeeding over 1000 patients who had been diagnosed Schizophrenic were released from the hospitals and went on to live happy lives with learning to control their anxiety behaviors with food and training.

    Most of Canada has a food allergy protocol now before someone is institutionalized for many mental health problems. The USA says this research is a bunch of baloney.

    We have a lot to learn

  9. Jannie Funster Says:

    That was an ideal way to have your daughters recognize and deal with depression. So many are quick to medicate.

    Really really interesting how depression is caused by deat-seated fear. I think that’s really true!

    I try not ot let those what I call “little down moments” spill onto my blog posts. So …. when I’m in a poetry mood, I’ll crank out a few for rainy post days.

    I guess I really only have one fear — that my lyrics will not arrive. Or my singing will suck. Unfounded, of course. Action, action takes care of that.

    For a while I was fearing the financial end of things, but I know that all is working out as it should, and we are always provided for.

    So….. back to my lyrics on “Love Will Be The Answer.” Just a good line a day keeps the worries away. :) And a good line a day over 12 months sure adds up!


    Patricia Reply:

    I think the big problem with depression is when we do not recognize it early on or try to avoid…then it goes so deep and that actions have to be so much bigger…

    Wisdom with emotions comes with revealing them and giving them light so we can use them to our advantage. This is why I write about them on my blog….one voice to counter balance all the ads and promotions for being jolly and happy all the time…especially with a pill or bling

    You are so smart – a new lyric brings you up…and up and 12 a year to 52 a year…stars in your cap of action and results..
    You are quite amazing
    Patricia recently posted..Knock Knock Who’s There?My Profile

  10. Jannie Funster Says:

    “deep”- seated that should read above, of course. typo!


    Patricia Reply:

    Now you have another submission for your typo posts!

  11. Hilary Says:

    Hi Patricia .. I was talking to a friend recently who said she and many of her friends are depressed and because of that she’s stressed – she has physical ailments, but her life is rich in many other ways – no financial worries … yes children worries. I know my mother was depressed before her strokes – I could never really work out why – at that stage I wasn’t geared that way .. life went on and she had a very successful life – certainly things had gone wrong ..but that was long ago and we can’t turn the clock back .. but they obviously ‘sat’. She would never ask for help or seemed to take advice … the problem with many of us – we can never turn the coin over and look at things from the other side.

    I think I’m lucky – I grew up shy and lacking in confidence – but sometime before I hit 40 .. I’d started to grow and relax and then I was able to eliminate the stress .. I just realised I had to count my blessings and still do. Depression is something terribly challenging to understand from the outside looking in .. and I can’t understand it – though now I appreciate it … I try and give off positive vibes, ideas and words – not always easy. My life is not easy .. but I’m not physically ill – thankfully.

    We rely on others too much – we can and should take responsibility for our selves – most don’t .. and therefore don’t allow themselves to think – they just exist and “live” as they see it – not for me. We have to help ourselves at all times …

    With many thoughts to your readers and you ..

    patricia Reply:

    Thank you for your lovely comment – yes it is true we need to be responsible to ourselves and as we are then we can balance and use the hard feelings as well as the fun feelings….we need to learn how

    thank you for your good thoughts