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Telling of my Cancer

harvest

On Deliberately Receiving I recently read this post by Melody.   I thought it was one of the best statements about how we do or do not draw illness to ourselves – it was so invigorating to me and affirming of my health journey, I wrote an entire blog post in the comments section.

I would invite you to read Melody’s post, she shares very clearly.

Then I copied my comment and placed it here for you to read – it is a re- telling of my story and I learned a great deal from writing it and reading the post and Melody’s reply.

I was born with a large exterior cancerous tumor connected to my chest. I had to be delivered C-Section because of the tumor, but the only local hospital would not do C-Sections because they were Catholic and that would interfere with the birth process. My mother’s OBGYN took her to his offices and performed the C-Section and then another Pediatrician removed my tumor. Risking their careers. My Mother was moved to the hospital for 7 days of surgery recovery and I was taken home with the OBGYN for 7 days of care by his wife.

My body keeps manifesting these cysts which are full of toxins from the environment – including laundry soap residuals – which when they become too painful to endure any longer – Drs find them to be pre-cancerous and I have another surgery. My ovaries were covered with cancerous cysts when I had my Hysterectomy, the cysts were full of environmental toxins) ….which gave me 15 years of the most horrendous menopause symptoms one cannot even imagine. It was Kind of a gift…as I had to pull out of the work force to care for myself, my special needs child and finally my dying mother. I was determined to heal myself and live.

What I found was if I stayed home in my organic, healthy, air filtered environment – I did not have headaches and I did not grow more of these cysts. I do not eat cheese because of what my body tells me is in it and how much resistance it has to this stuff. I do not eat other people’s cooking (usually) I have learned how to hear the most minor transmissions from my body you can imagine.

But now I want to go outside and be with people more…not just read my life away…so I started by blogging to get some conversation going. On Biking Architect, I often write about how people make it hard for the environment and me to stay healthy. I put tea tree oil and bees wax in my nose and breathe through my nose so that I can go walking every day. I am working on going to choir practice once a week and singing about Peace.. I go to 2 book groups a month to be with people (and I eat their food – carefully) I only purchase food from my CSA and organic groceries. I am changing my vibrations so that I can go to San Francisco for Thanksgiving and not come home with massively swollen legs and joints and not have to stay in my daughter’s apt. all the time – while my family goes running and hiking and exploring. I am working on manifesting enough money to pay for this adventure; I would so like to be able to purchase some new clothing.

I think my weight is due to my body protecting me from the toxins in the environment.
And I still feel best about myself and happy and healthy when I stay home in my energy efficient healthy environment.

I am working on manifesting more friends to my blogs – Patricias Wisdom and Facebook and twitter….and I am working hard at figuring out technical stuff so that Wise Ears will use my talents towards making money…
I feel most powerful in my own healthy space and most relaxed and positive…but wow! can it be a private joy that I would like to share more.

Now I think this is a fabulous post – and Melody truly one of your best – and I hope it will stop people acting like my cancer and illnesses – and fat – are catching and a sign of my stupidity and dumbness – I am powerful beyond their imaginations and made even more powerful by learning and learning all this good stuff found here… …all the name-calling by the “others” just wears me down. Being denied health insurance hurts my feelings and wears me down baby steps, baby steps…. good words found here/Thank you.

Thank you Melody

Melody’s reply was just right.

So here is my post for today – it is revealing, but it is just exactly what I wanted to say.

I think my reading and commenting on posts is one of my most important aspects of my daily living.

Do you ever write whole posts in the comments section?  Have you ever just copied and pasted your comment to make a post on your blog?

I need more comments on my blog posts and would invite you to share your ideas with me.

If you like what you read here you may wish to subscribe by RSS or email.

I invite you to read this post too:  I do not know anything different

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16 Responses to “Telling of my Cancer”

  1. Laurie Buchanan Says:

    Patricia –

    This was the only safe place I knew to let you know that I did not send that Twitter message. My account has been hacked. I received the same Twitter message from author Susan Pohlman yesterday. She hadn’t sent it — she’d been hacked. too.

    – Laurie

    patricia Reply:

    I am so sorry Laurie….but I got up this morning to a number of comments coming from folks being hacked…including my friend Keith a painter in Northern England….his hacker sent out about 35 tweets….I wish some did not need to make a mess for others.

    Just as my Mother was dying, I was virus-ed and hacked and lost my whole computer… we had to madly scrabble to get a new computer and get back on line…

    Hope it is not too big a mess to clean up AARGH!

  2. Vered | Blogger for Hire Says:

    I love that after all you’ve been through, you are so positive.
    Vered | Blogger for Hire recently posted..MemoriesMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Today I think it is you Vered who is looking with your positive eyes. I am rather down right now, because I do not know whether or not my body will let me travel in the next weeks. My heart wants to.

    I am not so positive when I am digging at the roots…I am determined… I think part of my life has been to truly like and enjoy myself…then I am always in good company :)

  3. Terrill Welch Says:

    Patricia I have done like you a few times and used my comments for a post. It is a great way of pulling something that we value up to the light. I like that you are “determined” right now. This kind of mindful persistence can be magical in its results.

    Feeling down…. a hard place for me to stay still with but a necessary place to finding a way forward or through sometimes.

    Your story warms my heart as it is filled with vulnerability and passion. Two key ingredients for deep engagement.

    Your words for us to live by – “I think part of my life has been to truly like and enjoy myself…then I am always in good company.”
    Terrill Welch recently posted..Savouring the BluesMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Terrill,
    Thank you for your great response – beautiful like your paintings and heart

  4. Jenny Ann Fraser Says:

    Hello Patricia,
    I knew of your past battles with cancer, but not the details. It makes so much sense what you are saying about the environment being the cause of so much illness. I have often wondered how the environment affects my ADHD.
    Sadly though, I do not seem to have your discipline. I always want to eat better, but I am not one for “domestic organization” of any kind, LOL. At least I am very, physically active.
    Thank you for sharing this. You are an inspiration!
    Jenny Ann Fraser recently posted..Why We Need To Work TogetherMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Jenny Ann
    Thanks so much for your nice words.
    My youngest was diagnosed with ADHD which latter turned out to be a lesion in her brain keeping the messages from coming through properly….she still is very hyperactive. She was in daycare during her kindergarten years for 1/2 a day through lunch….they fed the kids Mac and Cheese from a box mix everyday with nice fruits and veggies. Her hyperactivity would raise to such levels I would have to go in to parent help or take her home from school everyday…My oldest daughter is nearly allergic to the world…when she controls what she eats she can really get into the world and participate…she does a lot of running too and biking now…
    exercise is crucial for the body to heal and maintain.

    But click over to Suzen’s blog below in the comments, wow does she have the straight skinny on pollutants and the body’s responses You will be very happy you visited

  5. Laurie Buchanan Says:

    Patricia – I raise my hand and heart to affirm your healthy journey.
    Laurie Buchanan recently posted..Painted by SunriseMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Laurie,
    thank you Laurie…I can feel your good energy…
    and the sunshine on your roses

  6. suzen Says:

    Hi Patricia! I had no clue your health battles began at birth – no wonder you are so in tune with your body! That might be the “gift” in this?

    The environment has been made so darn toxic over the years and women pass this along to their unborn child unknowingly. The studies done on the toxicity of umbilical cords are a testimony to how bad things really are today. I just don’t know what it will take to make more people awaken to the dangers and try, as you do, to avoid all this. It is such a challenge! I know I write about a LOT of this on my blog, almost to a point of negativity which I try sooo hard to avoid, but I seriously wonder…..people just don’t want to hear about it, do they? The resistance is overwhelming to me sometimes – the excuses and denial — geeezz.

    You let your light shine thru, Patricia. You inspire more people than you will ever realize!

    Many hugs and much love,
    Susan
    suzen recently posted..You Are Not So Smart by David McRaneyMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    suzen,
    Thank you so much for sending such good energy and information onward.

    Today is not such a good day, but last night I got to sing my 5 notes with the Olympia Peace Choir and that was like a breath of fresh air….worth the exhaustion of today.

    I think I was very “Pulled” down by the McRaney book…being told in writing over 100 times You Are Not So Smart has an affect…

    Thanks for you good comments

  7. Hilary Says:

    Hi Patricia .. I think medical conditions and the person’s understanding of them must help others – and blogging certainly can aid that journey in getting the word out there. I’d no idea of this type of cancer ..

    I ‘like’ these kind of posts – as they are educational .. and that is why my posts are what they are and I won’t include anything personal as such on them – I wrote two negative posts early on .. and just suddenly thought I don’t want to go this route – so I pulled them (they’re in the blogosphere but not on the blog).

    Should I write a book – they’ll come out there .. I may not – other more positive things have been triggered by the blog .. and that’s the route I prefer to go.

    If I had an illness then I’d alert people – as we can all learn … and that’s what you’re doing here – giving us insights into something that we may not use ourselves, but may be invaluable to others we come across.

    I won’t do things I don’t want to do (unless I have to!) .. or read negative takes on life .. I just don’t want to be knocked – but I am lucky I am essentially very positive, strong and decisive – which holds me in good stead.

    Your information and thoughts are very worthwhile being out here .. and I sincerely hope you can get yourself down to SF and enjoy yourself with the family.

    With thoughts – Hilary
    Hilary recently posted..Oxford University, Emily Hobhouse and the Boer War, schooldays and family links … Part 1My Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Hilary,
    Thank you for coming by and commenting. I sure do like your positive attitude and I think that serves you well.

    People are always saying what they are doing to help the environment and then declaring that is enough…they get this loyalty to cheap laundry products and dryer softeners and very cheap food. I read and review so many books about how the marketers get a hold of ones’ thinking and actions in order to make money…

    When I ask them to stop using a product and think it through there is so much resistance, I end up paying the price for their little decisions.

    I have to have a special water filter because are beautiful clean artisan wells are so polluted that the city puts chlorine in the water…that kills all the natural fighters in the body and ruins the immune system.

    I am not alone, I stopped going to my church years ago, because even though they ask folks not to wear perfume and after shave…they fail to think about the outgasing hair care/laundry products… It was a place not of healing but of constant coughing….and stuffy noses…

    I hope by sharing this information again…more folks will make some changes…
    thanks for you good and positive words

  8. Jannie Funster Says:

    I do not feel happy when my posts receive less than 35 comments. But when that happens, it’s usually because I am not out reading and commenting on others’ posts as much. All part of what at times seems like a “blogging game” at times.

    However…

    It all evens out in blogging and love eventually. Maybe I’m working more on music than reading blogs, and after I surface from y songwriting,I am usually refreshed and ready to share something good, and get energized by checking in on my buddies.

    I really feel I am “missing out” when I miss peoples’ posts.

    As I write this, at the library I realize I am starting to feel a little sore throat coming on, so I shall not be singing and talking much. And that could head it off nicely. we do need to listen to our own bodies.

    Thanksgiving in San Francisco sounds AWESOME!! May you have a safe, healthy happy trip.

    And I know what you mean about loving your own little cozy comfortable cave. So glad you created that for yourself.

    I am amazed in this day and age some people still slap on so much fragrance. yuck! I get a headache just thinking about it. But perhaps my laundry and shampoo residual smells are as harmful to some.

    And so glad about you 2x monthly book group meetings. Lovely!! I know to be there with you all one day would be a dream come true for me.

    revealing is good.

    Sometimes I may write a long long comment response, as I did the other day when a girl asked me about the latest in my music. I guess it’s the mood we are in , and what triggers our emotions.

    love you!

    xoxoxoox

    P.S. thinking about French Bread too. :)
    Jannie Funster recently posted..To Dad On His 75th Birthday — in 55 words, or so….My Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Jannie
    You wrote a great long comment here….I think you would be welcome at one of our book groups…we will have to figure that one out!

    Perfume really triggered my migraine headaches as do dryer sheets

    I have been singing your French Bread song every since you sent it to me…yummy, yummy indeed