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After 34 Years My Husband is Leaving Me

Ready to start Double Metric Century 2011

Yes!  It is true that my partner for so many years is leaving me.  He has been saving up vacation time and is just going to hop on his bicycle and depart mid- August.

He and 3 other cycling enthusiasts have been training for quite some time to begin at the Canadian border and zigzag through the Cascade Mountain passes until they reach Mexico.  They will be carrying all their gear and stop every few days for supplies and fresh food.

They did part of this trip over a ten day period a couple of years ago and they did a trip down the coastal route before also – those trips were about 10 to 15 days long.  2 of the cyclists have taken several months to go from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean the northern route and then repeated this trip for the southern route; they are retired.

This trip will be 2200 miles long and will take approximately 5 weeks.  My husband will need to ship his bike home at the end and will probably take the train back himself.

Trusty bicycle is getting a new chain and 2 spare Armadillo tires as I write.

I am very busy working at putting some weight on his body and gathering up packets of nut butters and powdered protein drinks that he can just tuck into his panniers.  The panniers are new and were given to him by his children for Father’s Day and his Birthday.  They are waterproof and lightweight and sturdy, he will not need to wrap everything in plastic bags and hope for the best.

We are going to spend our anniversary with his brother and sister in law at the beach, I am flying to a family wedding in Montana for next weekend and then I am taking care of home sweet home and sweet ZIP.

One of my book groups is coming here for my birthday, because I don’t want to be alone that day and I want to have some truly magnificent conversation.

I have a huge stack of books to read and I have been following Sam Juliano at Wonders in the Dark to put together my own DVD film festival with about 6 Meryl Streep films tucked in too.

Each week that he is gone, I am planning to devise an Adventure to promote an out of house experience, because I just know there is enough work here to keep 2 people working full time.

End of September he will return – hopefully refreshed and ready to get back to his sustainable Green architecture projects and healing the earth – work he just loves to do.

What would you do if you have 5 weeks on your own?  What adventures would you undertake to refresh and renew your spirit?

If you liked what you read here, I have more things to say on my other Blogs – Biking Architect and Wise Ears, why don’t you click over and check them out?  I would welcome your subscriptions.

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Related Reading:
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33 Responses to “After 34 Years My Husband is Leaving Me”

  1. Hilary Says:

    Hi Patricia .. you had me for one brief second!! Glad he’s going off on his ‘dream’ trip .. I know he loves his biking trails .. I hope he’s taking a camera .. or someone is for some pics .. Wish him bon voyage ..

    Thankfully you seem to have yourself organised and will be kept busy .. and Zip to keep you company ..

    Happy Anniversary .. and enjoy the family get together .. cheers Hilary
    Hilary recently posted..Dear World … looking at you from the Shuttle Atlantis …My Profile

    Patricia Reply:

    Hilary,
    Even before he beings this adventure he and IT Girl are working on the 2012 birthday celebration. They are planning a biking tour of UK from the southern most tip to the northern most point…

    One of the 4 bikers always takes a good amount of pictures and puts them on CD for the rest of us….my husband does an okay job, but he gets so involved with the landscape and mountains he often forgets.

    I think it will be a grand time.

  2. Melody | Deliberate Receiving Says:

    Ok, I have to admit, I took a quick breath when I say your headline in my RSS feed, but then remembered that you mentioned your husband’s trip before… Phew! :)

    The last time I took a month off, I went to Peru. I would do that again, in a heartbeat. In fact, I’m thinking about spending even longer, like 3 months in the rainforest. Before that, I took 3 months and backpacked around Europe (mostly western Europe). Something I’m planning to do in the next 2-3 years is to get an RV and travel the entire US for a summer. There’s so much to see and so much I’ve never experienced. I’m too comfortable to do it all on a bike, though (and too lazy). I want my clothes and stuff with me… 😉 So many adventures, so little time! My next trip is simply to go see my family for 2 weeks. It’s not a big “adventure”, but I’m really looking forward to seeing my sister’s kids and meeting my cousin’s new baby.
    Adventures rock!

    Hugs to you, your husband and your little dog, too! He, he.
    Melody
    Melody | Deliberate Receiving recently posted..Why People Who Walk Slowly In Front Of You Are So Damn Annoying (And How You Can Stop Wanting To Punch Them In The Head)My Profile

    Patricia Reply:

    Melody,
    Wow your list of adventures sounds fabulous…Your visit this year to family sounds very good also.

    I am trying to plan little days off for mini-adventures because my traditional thing to do is to just do the work of 2 continuously…I am getting tired and need some adventures to pep up my spirit

    I think my husband will have a fabulous experience and just something he so loves to do – be in nature and biking

  3. vered | blogger for hire Says:

    Sounds like a great adventure. 5 weeks will pass quickly….
    vered | blogger for hire recently posted..Addicted to Coffee And a Coffee Giveaway (2 Winners) – GIVEAWAY CLOSEDMy Profile

    Patricia Reply:

    vered,
    I think it will pass extremely quickly – partially because there is so much work to do around here!
    I need to plan for down time

  4. Jenny Ann Fraser Says:

    You had me also!
    What a fabulous adventure, for both of you really!
    I love the idea of planning your own adventures.
    I am single and do spend most of my life alone, so I guess I pretty much do what you are doing most of the time.
    My favourite thing is to spend as much time as I can outdoors, wandering the beautiful neighbourhood I call home enjoying the wildlife and dogs and cats that I meet along the way.
    Enjoy Patricia!
    Jenny Ann Fraser recently posted..Thandie Newton Stole My Blog Post!My Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Jenny Ann,
    I am planning on enjoying my time – with kiddos and husband out of the house – well, it will feel very quiet and I think I will feel thankful for that.

    Might as well enjoy what one is given?

  5. Talon Says:

    2,200 miles! That’s incredible!

    Patricia, sounds like you are all set for your 5 week marriage hiatus :)

    My hubby has been away many times throughout our 31 years of marriage due to work (longest was 6 months)and I always looked forward to those times because his home-coming was always a celebration and a renewal. I pretty much do the same things when he’s gone – working, writing, photographing, reading, hiking with the dogs, etc. – just a lot more of it :) Oh, and generally I’ll arrange at least one or two girlfriend get togethers – they’re soul sustaining :)
    Talon recently posted..ImprobableMy Profile

    Patricia Reply:

    Talon,
    I think he will enjoy it very much and feel very proud of himself – it has been a long haul at work trying to recover and it is still going on, and I think a break is vital and life giving.

    I wish I had a few more get togethers, on the schedule – I do think women connections are important to my renewal – Maybe during the September part of the adventure folks will be back – although we are finding lots of seniors are just taking off in the Fall to avoid the crowds but still catch the nice weather.

  6. Jannie Funster Says:

    Woman — you gave me a heart attack with this title and post, as you did with all the commenters, it seems.

    Glad to learn it’s only for his biking. whewww.

    Wish I could pop in on you while he’s gone, but can only online.

    xoxo
    Jannie Funster recently posted..There Are Churches — a poem in 72 wordsMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Jannie,
    We can connect in so many ways…and I am sure my husband will be calling when he is in an open zone to call. Hoping he takes some good pictures..

    I am trading in lots of busy requirements for a bit of quiet time – and tons of garden work to do alone…I might just need a rest from the rest!

  7. Deborah Says:

    How you will miss him but I am sure Zip and the family will be there for you. My husband went off to the Galapagos Isles with his brother, for three and a half weeks in February and that seemed long enough, then again, he often used to go away on business trips for about that time when the children were small. Different when it is just you left to carry on. I used the time to do all the things that I never have time to do – mind you I didn’t get through them all. I also went away for a ‘girls’ long weekend’ down to Fowey with my sisters and a friend. I don’t think Upton House was open then :-)

    Patricia Reply:

    Deborah,
    I have a bum foot, that is going to take quite awhile to heal, so I am truly worried about yard care while he is gone…

    I think it will be quite the adventure for him and something to remember for a long time.

    I have several things in the works to make it fun, including my book groups meeting and discussion great books.

    Publishers have sent me , I believe, 4 more self-help books to review and they always take a bit more time…and ZIP well he is quite the busy guy theses days…and makes me laugh a lot!

    Your trip to Fowey sounds wonderful
    Patricia recently posted..Summer Through the Eyes of William ShakespeareMy Profile

  8. EdenSol Says:

    Sounds Fabulous! Happy birthday to your hubby (mine was over the weekend), and a wonderful anniversary to you both! You sound very prepared! :-) Wishing you both an amazing adventure, Patricia!

    patricia Reply:

    Antonia,
    Happy Birthday to you…mine is still coming up
    I think I liked planned adventures than some of the surprise ones that just knock one for a loop.

  9. farouk Says:

    oh patrcia when i saw the title i thought something bad happened
    thanks God its just a trip :)
    sounds like an interesting one though 😀
    good luck for u both

    patricia Reply:

    farouk,
    thank you….I think the trip will be refreshing for him and as he has so many more years of work ahead for him before he can even think of retiring, I hope it will renew his spirit and energies.

  10. Davina Haisell Says:

    Hi Patricia.

    I’m glad this title was not what it sounded like! What would I do with 5 weeks alone… revel in the solitude. :) That is how I live my life now as I am on my own. Just watch… you’ll be spoiled having all this time to yourself. But I’ve no doubt that you will also miss your husband while he is away. I hope he has a fabulous trip. Yay for Zip to give you a listening ear and a friendly wag of the tail in his absence.
    Davina Haisell recently posted..How Writers with a New Blog Can Build ReadershipMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Davina,
    I hope it is a fabulous and safe trip…I do think it is his way for re-creation of his spirit and that is good.

    I am rather happy about having the bed all to my self…and since my husband does not like movies and I do – well this should work out nicely!

    ZIP had a whole yard to play in this past weekend…he is feeling a bit limited being back home!

  11. Brittany Says:

    At first I was surprised and sad when I read your title, but thankfully you explained what you really meant right away! You got me too! Nice hook! Wow your husband is really fit to be going on that long of a bike ride, hope he has a great experience!

    I think if I had 5 weeks on my own I’d want to do a mini traveling journey or something, not sure where though.

    Brittany Reply:

    Oh yes and happy birthday! Hope it’s a good one! :)
    Brittany recently posted..The Shyness Project TitleMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Brittany,
    I think if I had 5 weeks I too would do some traveling. My one daughter did a 6 weeks language camp in Denmark, before starting school there….that was a fun way to travel – maybe a writing camp?

    I think my hubs will have a great time on this trip.

  12. suzen Says:

    Hi Patricia! Happy Birthday! Enjoy the time alone! I know I do when I’m up at the lake alone. I get more work done there (in terms of writing/reading/research) because I have no interuptions other than the dogs to walk. The time flies by so fast and I never do get all done that I wanted to – too much sitting on the dock watching eagles but I figure that is part of my therapy so I won’t give that up! ha!
    hugs
    suZen

    patricia Reply:

    suzen,
    Actually I do so much food prep for my partner that I think this will feel like a vacation for me too – I am worried about all the yard work especially with my foot out of commission with plantar fasciitis and 3 fractured bones…I am beginning to think this is an old lady dysfunction, to get me to slow down!

    Oh your cabin time sounds like a bit of heaven on earth…

    Yep love sitting on the deck…and looking out at our little lake…

    It will all work I am sure

  13. Sam Juliano Says:

    That headline really had me going Patricia! But that’s really a great way to size things up with a dash of humor. I’m sure this bicycle trip will be one ro renmember and it gives you a chance to play catch up, including that wonderful Meryl Streep Festival you have planned! Happy Birth day too and many thanks for the mention!
    Sam Juliano recently posted..The Story of Temple Drake – 1933, Stephen RobertsMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Sam,
    You are welcome for the mention…I have Streep in the queue and all lined up…
    This week is just crazy running errands and getting back from a wedding.
    So much to do…hope I can catch up and take care of this house and yard work…definitely jobs better for at least 2

    I can not believe you saw 16 films last week…wow…and now I read about your commute time to accomplish these feats…summer school must be over?

  14. 13 Pre-Coders, ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ and Buster Keaton on Monday Morning Diary (August 8) « Wonders in the Dark Says:

    […] Patricia talks about bicycle trips, birthdays and planned film festivals in her latest engaging post at Patricia’s Wisdom: http://patriciaswisdom.com/2011/08/after-34-years-my-husband-is-leaving-me/comment-page-1/#comment-2… […]

  15. Todd | Channelingmyself Says:

    You had me going as well. That is a cool journey he is going to take. I wish I could do something similar. Enjoy your with the kids and hopefully some alone time.

    patricia Reply:

    Hi Todd,
    I need more catchy titles my readers jumped to a new all time high with this one!

    They are off on their ride and the predicted rain has held off, but they got a late start as my husband’s tire rim broke and he had to purchase a new one and put the heavy duty tire on it…that took waiting for the shop to open and 2 hours to repair. I am hoping that is their only problem

    Zip and I are holding down the fort…my kids are all off on their own, we keep in touch by phone…and computer
    This group plans for a year and then does a major trip…2 of the riders have been on 3 month trips across the USA – northern and southern routes.

    My partner is still working so it is hard for him to join the group for more than their weekly rides. But he loves it and it is worth all the preparation and training…
    He is 64 and his insurance age is 38 – even with Rheumatoid Arthritis…. he thinks it is very worth it!

  16. Marlene Says:

    Now that a catchy title ! I was already pulling ice creams out of freezer and heading to you, but i realized i was mind-tricked !

    My husband also likes this stuff, and he even tried to hook me up! It didn’t worked out haha I just dont have the same passion and i would need A LOT of training. Plus hes a man so naturally hes pace is higher than mine.
    Marlene recently posted..BlockBuster Closing StoresMy Profile

    patricia Reply:

    Marlene,
    Ha – thank you for the ice cream empathy – I actually had to take all his ice cream out of the freezer and give it to a friend because I would have eaten it when my resistance was low and no one around to be accountable!

    Our second date was a biking trip – he on his touring bike and me on a friend’s vintage Schwinn with no gears. He rode off somewhere around the city park and after an hour and dogs chasing me – I just rode home…I guess I took it as fair warning for what I was getting myself into…he did not even notice I was MIA….I love walking so I got a puppy to keep me company because he even walks away faster when we try to walk together.
    He is trying to watch a movie with me once a week – he even disappears when we are working in the garden!

    patricia Reply:

    Marlene,
    Ha – thank you for the ice cream empathy and weldom here – I actually had to take all his ice cream out of the freezer and give it to a friend because I would have eaten it when my resistance was low and no one around to be accountable!

    Our second date was a biking trip – he on his touring bike and me on a friend’s vintage Schwinn with no gears. He rode off somewhere around the city park and after an hour and dogs chasing me – I just rode home…I guess I took it as fair warning for what I was getting myself into…he did not even notice I was MIA….I love walking so I got a puppy to keep me company because he even walks away faster when we try to walk together.
    He is trying to watch a movie with me once a week – he even disappears when we are working in the garden!