Thoughtless Remarks Need a Sincere Apology
Several years ago a very popular comedian made some thoughtless remarks in public and was called out for his words. I was very struck by what a fine apology he made because he not only said he was sorry that the words just popped out when he was not thinking, but that because the words had just popped out he definitely had some serious thinking to do and some feelings inside to understand.
This fellow’s thoughtless blunder became a life lesson and a teachable moment. It could be that he just did not want to do such a thing in public again but that is not of our concern, rather it is about the fact that he learned from his mistake and he took the time to acknowledge that words can hurt and inflame and that was not a concept he wanted to be associated with and he was taking action to correct his words.
I think the USA has reached a point where we need to become thoughtful again and recognize our teachable moments and teach them. We need some more people standing up and publicly making sincere apologies for unthinkable words that have popped out. Then we need the follow up action of seeing people doing the work to understand why those inflammables just popped out. We need to collectively show that we are able to respond in a humane and dignified fashion – with intelligence.
In some of our public schools – many actually – 80% of a teacher’s day is made up of discipline issues. They are caught up in teaching self-control. Children act out from what they experience and know, so this tells me there is very little self-control being experienced or taught in homes.
We need to give up on excuses and blame too. Our media, especially the news, is fear based and we need to cut it off at the source and not encourage this rhetoric with public permission. We need to stop letting the mentally troubled in our society do our dirty work. It only feels safe in the moment.
So I offer up my most sincere apology to the Congresswoman and her staff members who were attacked this past weekend for not doing my part. I was busy thinking why would anyone want to be a public official in this day and age? And not making life a teachable moment.
I am sending thank you letters to my congressional and legislative representatives and asking them how I can learn from their work so I will be enabled to respond.
Although I attempted to teach each person I talked with in my state the difference between a BOND measure and a tax – I did not do it well enough. I cheated our public school population. I can see that our young people truly do not know how to think and problem-solve and that civic understanding is lacking; this behavior seems to be encouraged. Instead I stay quiet and think “you need to pay me” for the work I do so well and know how to do, and you say that I am too old or out of date, have the wrong paperwork, and I am not enough of an entertainer. I lick my wounds and draw back from being attacked.
I prayed daily during the election that the “mentally ill” would not kill our Senator and succeed in losing their self-control, and was so happy the state police were able to identify and contain each one. What does this say about our system? It says to me that the we have lost our self-control as individuals and as a nation and that the public which is enthralled with the Entertainers and Fear Warriors who are inflaming this fear need to hear some sincere out loud apologies and witness some follow up actions and learned behaviors. We need a course correction.
This shooting was a prime notification that we have hit bottom and we need to start climbing out – immediately.
We need to hear some real apologies, and we need some honest reality – right now. We need to stop sacrificing our children and their education – we need to ask what they are really learning and figure out what actions they will be taking. We need to be afraid of the fear-mongers…
How do you think a course correction comes about? Do you think this shooting was a big enough event to achieve some course corrections? What is needed to begin the process? Do you just turn off the voices of fear? What action do you need to be taking? Have you heard any real and honest apologies?
Looking forward to your spirited comments – What do you think?