When NO Is The Right Thing To Say
I first said YES.
I thought about being the Power of Attorney for my brother and Executor of his will, which he does not have yet even though his liver is failing, and said yes I would do those tasks and then studied the situation for two days and finally said NO, just keep me posted as you want.
I have been trained to be the family care giver and emotional response team affiliate. The first YES was old school thinking. I really do not know this man well enough, so it would be another unpaid work experience. I have already said NO to those kinds of tasks – just need to stand my ground.
It took me three full days of hospital visits and contemplation to find comfort with this NO. I sometimes wish I was faster, but I got there none the less.
NOs are rather like that, they make us think, sort and glean. NOs are the fastest route to our values and are often booster rocket fuel to our authentic self and making true changes in our lives.
After I made my reverse decision, three ideas confirmed that I was correct. I keep my rule of 3 close to my sleeve and responses. First my brother was told by the doctor, nurse, and discharge social worker not to drive until his primary care physician gave him permission; he immediately assumed that his current girl friend or I would be driving him home and taking care of that task for the weeks ahead (he was not going to the Therapy Center for 15 days – he was going home to care for himself). ASSUMED is the key word for this search engine.
Secondly, for most of my married life my family has just said NO to two cars. We moved almost right downtown and all members have good walking shoes and bikes. Our city has a great bus system, and I taught my children how to use it. I saw a news story online about how this new generation is just saying NO to owning cars and that the automobile manufacturers are truly concerned about this new trend.
Just this morning into my inbox came the third confirmation. This was an older newspaper column written by Mr. Gartner and posted in USA Today in 2006. Mr. Gartner was head of NBC News for a number of years and used part of this story in a graduation speech at a University. It is a story about a couple, Gartner’s parents, deciding to MAKE NO LEFT TURNs.
I encourage you to read A LIFE WITHOUT LEFT TURNS
It gave me a chuckle, smile and a lovely spoonful of wisdom to share with you.
Are NOs easy for you? Are you a quick draw with a NO? Do you need contemplation time or have remorse after a NO? Do you have a story about a powerful NO in your life? Have NOs provided wisdom and learning for your journey?
Looking forward to your welcome and well appreciated comments