In order to make changes in my body and health, I have been spending time in my story. As I release my protective shields and vests, I open compressed and zipped files of events and actions that I experienced in my life. I am confronted with my interpretation and thoughts about those events and moments; it is often like cliff diving from on high into waving pools of currents – tides of emotions – unknown or unforeseen grief, anger, turmoil, and unclaimed joy.
At least with diving, I have made the choice to enter and probably have my swim suit on and a life raft in vicinity.
When dealing with the story, sometimes it is a comment made by others that flashes the feelings in full screen – wide screen and the emotions just flood across the mind’s eye and rather than erupt with the old story script it is a moment of opportunity to release and let go.
I could not go forward for a few moments as my child provoked one of the most painful stories of my childhood – I held it in and my tongue, and two days later I can finally open the lid and dabble in the emotions for release and progress. I do not wish to reside in the past – I wish to live in the here and now. The shadows play upon and around my heart and mind; the ego gives a command performance.
I must feel the feelings, interpret, see their worth /the gift and release; catch my breath and begin a new page. It is a choice we make whether to acknowledge the story and whether or not to continue to carry it or let it go.
We all must take this journey if we want to make changes and live an authentic life.
Debbie Ford in her book THE SECRET OF THE SHADOW
“In one of my trainings we listed all the methods, techniques, and approaches we had used to try to fix ourselves and our stories. The list was huge. We had visited acupuncturists, past-life regressionists, and for the most of us, more than our fair share of therapists. We had worked on our anger, our inner child, and our inner critic, and when that failed we had tried ecstatic dance. We had tried visualizing, affirming, chanting, and meditating our way out of our pain. We had sought the advice of nutritionists, trainers, life coaches, yoga teachers, and gurus, and when those didn’t work we had sought out our internists for a prescription of Prozac. We had cleansed our chakras, sniffed essential oils, and lit scented candles to calm our minds. Some of us had soaked in energetically balanced baths while listening to harmonically soothing music. We had burned incense specially imported from India, put magnets under our pillows, worn amulets around our necks and mood rings on our fingers. We had picked angel cards and had our tarot cards read. We had tried volunteering our time, doing service to help people who seemed worse off than we were. Some of us had tried a rich husband or a young, pretty wife.
“Our list went on and on, and even though we had a tremendous laugh over it, most of us were left in the presence and pain of the story that couldn’t be fixed. And the question that arose was simple: Is there any hope?“
The truth is the story cannot be fixed. The story can only be embraced. It can be reinterpreted.
The story can become a powerful gift.
Unless the story is one’s identify. Unless the story is one’s security blanket. The more you hold on to the story or attempt to fix the story the more one must live in the past. The more one is comforted by the security of the story the more ragged and worn out the story becomes – it is only a lacy fabric of security.
The story must be continuously released, accepted, and written a new. It is the gift of who you choose to be and become. It is the wholeness.
I found this TED lecture by Eve Ensler about security – I thought I would share it; her words ring true to me:
What do you think about The Story? Is it a gift? A Secret? Just something private? How does The Story speak to you? What did you think about Ensler’s words about security? How can we be secure in our world today?
Looking forward to your discussion intriguing comments: