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Someone coughs and there are noises that let me know there has been a shift. Two hours will define this session except for me – 90 minutes because I have been given this opportunity if I will do the cooking. We have arrived hungry – for silence.

No bunnies, chocolate or bonnets to occupy our moments. We hunt within for treats and treasure.

No blood upon the door, lamb, or unleavened to consume our thoughts. It is our own passage.

I scan the room from my perch in an armed canvas chair, as I have never been able to kneel with bottom to heel or sit cross legged. I have done stretching to release the joints and lubricate the dedication.

My eyes wander the room. I see the riverlets of rain wash down the windows and feel the energy of the trees whoosh and sway in the wind.

I have prepared the repast the day before, so I will not be hindered by responsibility. I have phoned and texted each child to give them fair warning.

Cleansing deep breath and the hail pounds down in bouncing drums of noise, noise and more noise. One slip of laughter and we begin again – cleansing breath….let the hail be uncontrolled.

With my breath, I explore the tension in my forehead and eyes, shoulders and arms – riverlets of breath move and carry away. I am being carried away by this breath; no I am mistaken, the tension and pain are being carried away and the focus is simplifying to just being.

I need no clock and rise in time to defrost the freezer and shut off the motors whacky pops and pings. I pour the hot water on the leaves and inhale the first tea release; greeting each with a warm cup as they arise.

Folks are wanting to talk and “tell it like it is!”; there is tension in the room, until it is figured out the journals purpose.

I continue the mediation by making each bowl gently design the focus and my hands just move in habits. Simple Pleasure – Beautiful Taste.

Though the wind is relentlessly attacking the night, I feel secure and warm – comforted. If this is my last moment, it is a good one. I visualize the wind pouring through me, eroding the wall of fear which blocks the healing.

Deep and cleansing breath, I believe that no one else is here. Fiona’s blue light feels my thoughts and I hear her words that this is old pain wrangling its way in – let it go. Jenny Mannion‘s words of too much worry and needing to let the impish inner free. Davina’s Symbolic Modelling indicating I am 75% over the mountain. I am flooded with peace – quiet.

Mind is quiet. Body is relaxed. Silence is mine.

I am not pushing – flowing.

I scour the kitchen and put everything back in order. No more food for me, as lab tests are tomorrow. The outcome will not provide me worry. My goal is getting the Touch I need, the insurance to pay for the therapeutic massages; to continue on with my healing work.

Anyone offered you a silent weekend? Would you go? How do you discover the peace/silence within yourself? Is silence a part of your healing work?

Looking forward to your comments:

15 Responses to “Silence”

  1. Talon Says:

    I am fortunate that my work allows me to spend many hours in silence (which I treasure). Sounds like a wonderful experience, Patricia. Silence can speak volumes. We need quiet to really have the opportunity to speak to ourselves.

    I hope the tests all go well and you’ll be looking forward to some nourishment after the fasting.
    .-= Talon´s last blog ..A chipmunk tale… =-.

  2. Hilary Says:

    Hi Patricia .. I’m very happy with my own company and just quietly get on .. so I’d probably be fine. My mother too – now she doesn’t want to talk – she can make totally relevant comments – a conversation more difficult – so we are in silence together just holding hands .. I read or listen to podcasts .. as bending over the bed is too backbreaking without having something to hold my attention.

    I too do hope the tests go well – positive energies from here .. all the best and I’ll be thinking of you …. Hilary
    .-= Hilary´s last blog ..Who would have thought Barbary Apes would be eating our greens? =-.

  3. Patricia Says:

    Actual blood work is completed. Could not fill the cup!!!! What is this at my age????? I am hoping that I turned the tide – I certainly gave it my very best effort. Oh and my fruit salad tasted like heaven on earth.
    It was an excellent way to spend a stormy Easter Weekend.

    Most of my life is alone right now too, but the retreat was with….
    I am watching lots of TED lectures and documentaries on the computer between….I know the days of hand holding well and the back strain of it too…I am with you and your mum in spirit.

    I am just so wanting something to work for me…

  4. vered | blogger for hire Says:

    I can’t imagine a silent weekend! Weekends are crazy around here But I do enjoy silence – and solitude – every single days (unless the kids are on break from school…)
    .-= vered | blogger for hire´s last blog ..Keeping My Daughters Healthy While Keeping Their Body Image Positive =-.

  5. Patricia Says:

    I have a lot of silence in my life these days…that is why I volunteered to cook – I thought it would a be a better way to fast before these next lab tests…and to have company!

    My youngest was so high energy….our house was never quiet for years :)

  6. Davina Says:

    “Hungry for silence”… loved the play on words Patricia. I enjoyed reading this post; your words flowed casually and I was carried along for the ride. I could have easily been on a raft, floating down a river on a sunny day with the sun warming my face, enjoying the refreshing breezes. You did a great job illustrating the silence. Sounds like your weekend was supportive.
    .-= Davina´s last blog ..In Appreciation of Good Health =-.

  7. Tony Single Says:

    Patricia, whenever I’m hungry for silence, I take my hearing aid out. It’s strange, but this physical silence often helps to silent the raging tempest inside my head and heart. Then, the real silence I’ve been looking for…

    Silence: that space between two times.
    .-= Tony Single´s last blog ..Bunny Darko =-.

  8. Patricia Says:

    It was a good weekend for me, I will not say this was an easy post to write…it took hours and I was editing to get to the flow of the silence. Thank you for your words of appreciation.
    .-= Patricia´s last blog ..Not Wanting to Appear Foolish =-.

  9. Patricia Says:

    I certainly do know that tempest in the head – what a clever way to achieve the quiet and stillness.

    Yes, the space between tow times…..
    .-= Patricia´s last blog ..Not Wanting to Appear Foolish =-.

  10. Mark Says:

    Thank-you for sharing your silence. Silence is very powerful as it allows our energy to be. I use silence much of the time and it helps me in more ways than I can express. Thank-you for this moment.
    .-= Mark´s last blog ..The Long View =-.

  11. Patricia Says:

    Thank you for your good comments – much appreciated.

  12. Chris Edgar Says:

    Thanks — I thought that was a beautiful, evocative piece, Patricia. I wasn’t even totally sure what you were describing doing in it, except that it was some kind of meditation, but I was stirred on a deeper level that didn’t require that much structure to have understanding.

  13. Patricia Says:

    Thank you for your thoughtful reflections.

    This meditation retreat was a way for me to prepare for the fasting blood tests I needed to undergo on Monday morning – It was very positive to fill my weekend with other people and silence and gratitude rather than cooking for Easter Bunny crowd of chocolate lovers at home!

  14. Mama Zen Says:

    Sounds like paradise!

  15. Patricia Says:

    Mama Zen,
    I think the retreat was what we each made of it…and it was cozy and dry….no distractions :)