Some Words are Just Hard to Hear
Cancer is one of those words that are very hard to hear and to wrap one’s brain around.
Cancer has been around for thousands of years and we hear about so many people dying from it. We hear about all the folks working to save us from it and cure us of it. We do not hear or listen for many of the words that talk of the people who will financially benefit from this illness.
Cancer imports the emotion fear right to the surface of one’s very being where it is fed by the chemicals of anger to a fevered pitch. Do we run and escape or do we prepare for battle?
Having been born with a large tumor attached to my chest, I was not feeling a thing about my dilemma. I was leaving that up to my parents. My mother had a heart “squeak” all of her life and her way of handling my tumor, was to remove it and get on with living the best life. My father who believed that he must research and find out everything he could about the tumor, also believed that he would die of Farm Cancer like all of his relatives who lived on dairy farms. They had the doctor remove the tumor, and then worked on instilling in me a drive to live my best life. My Father died at age 64 – full of cancer. My Mother died at 94 when her heart just stopped, and she was taking herself off the medications that were making her ill; ruining the quality of her living.
The lesson that I have taken away from my parents and which I cherish is to live my best life.
I do not believe that I will ever have breast cancer. Although cancer has been served to me upon a silver tray seven times in my life, I believe it serves me as a travel agent. I am not afraid of the consequences and only saddened by what segments of this great life I might miss; now bring on the new day and let me live it.
I do not avoid the 5 stages of the emotional journey I must pass through and I do often malinger in the depression stage. When I cannot find a way onward – I have been very fortunate to find an exterior “button pusher” to reve the engines and pull me out of the wallow.
As if I now possess a magic mirror of truth, I see the fear mongers coming and hawking their wares and woes – cashing in on the pot of gold. It is not that I am not thankful that the researchers are finally studying woman’s bodies and woman’s health to attempt to find a cure, but I just believe that should be a part, a segment – say 30% of my health insurance premium, not the pharmaceutical company’s cash cow.
I love the cancer survivors who become stand up comedians and the friends who walk and walk and walk bake selling for support and a cure. But let’s face it girls! With the running of our medical system as a business enterprise, this is another way our society has a huge potential to rake in the funds and abuse the middle class good hearts.
We are so wonderfully hopeful – we truly believe there is a magic wand. Funding cancer research is the bling that catches our eye and we glitter in our response. Our heart strings tampered with and our responsibility funded. The rich get richer and many directions go unexplored.
I make my donations to the young women who are not being bought and paid for by the “big guys”. Who are exploring new directions and path finding on the trail of living the healthiest – best life.
I have been called names, had my health insurance canceled, been labeled a liar and stupid; none of these things have enlightened my path to my best life or to my best health. No one likes to be informed that they are the victim in the game.
No word has been more inspiring to me to learn and grow and discover my own values and adventures than the word Cancer. Whenever I hear it or explore it I know I am going to grow and learn something amazing. Live better.
I freed myself of ovarian cancer. I believed I lost my creativity with that surgery. NOPE! I was wrong – I paid all the bills and that was a lesson in creativity 101 – Then I fought for my children to have the best education and hopefully the best life they could discovery – that was Master’s level Creativity.
Did you give a big enough donation? Did you find your key? Did you cover your tracks well enough? Did you find a wonderful place to hide?
What word motivates you to live your best life? Find your own truth?
The post was written for the Blogging for a Cause e-book to support breast cancer research by Lance of Jungle of Life (link) and Joanna Sutter a writer for Fitness and Spice (link) ~prh 10/11/2009