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Some Words are Just Hard to Hear

Cancer is one of those words that are very hard to hear and to wrap one’s brain around.

Cancer has been around for thousands of years and we hear about so many people dying from it. We hear about all the folks working to save us from it and cure us of it.   We do not hear or listen for many of the words that talk of the people who will financially benefit from this illness.

Cancer imports the emotion fear right to the surface of one’s very being where it is fed by the chemicals of anger to a fevered pitch.  Do we run and escape or do we prepare for battle?

Having been born with a large tumor attached to my chest, I was not feeling a thing about my dilemma.  I was leaving that up to my parents.  My mother had a heart “squeak” all of her life and her way of handling my tumor, was to remove it and get on with living the best life.  My father who believed that he must research and find out everything he could about the tumor, also believed that he would die of Farm Cancer like all of his relatives who lived on dairy farms.   They had the doctor remove the tumor, and then worked on instilling in me a drive to live my best life.   My Father died at age 64 – full of cancer.   My Mother died at 94 when her heart just stopped, and she was taking herself off the medications that were making her ill; ruining the quality of her living.

The lesson that I have taken away from my parents and which I cherish is to live my best life.

I do not believe that I will ever have breast cancer.  Although cancer has been served to me upon a silver tray seven times in my life, I believe it serves me as a travel agent.  I am not afraid of the consequences and only saddened by what segments of this great life I might miss; now bring on the new day and let me live it.

I do not avoid the 5 stages of the emotional journey I must pass through and I do often malinger in the depression stage. When I cannot find a way onward – I have been very fortunate to find an exterior “button pusher” to reve the engines and pull me out of the wallow.

As if I now possess a magic mirror of truth, I see the fear mongers coming and hawking their wares and woes – cashing in on the pot of gold.    It is not that I am not thankful that the researchers are finally studying woman’s bodies and woman’s health to attempt to find a cure, but I just believe that should be a part, a segment – say 30% of my health insurance premium, not the pharmaceutical company’s cash cow.

I love the cancer survivors who become stand up comedians and the friends who walk and walk and walk bake selling for support and a cure.   But let’s face it girls!  With the running of our medical system as a business enterprise, this is another way our society has a huge potential to rake in the funds and abuse the middle class good hearts.

We are so wonderfully hopeful – we truly believe there is a magic wand.  Funding cancer research is the bling that catches our eye and we glitter in our response.   Our heart strings tampered with and our responsibility funded.  The rich get richer and many directions go unexplored.

I make my donations to the young women who are not being bought and paid for by the “big guys”.  Who are exploring new directions and path finding on the trail of living the healthiest – best life.

I have been called names, had my health insurance canceled, been labeled a liar and stupid; none of these things have enlightened my path to my best life or to my best health.   No one likes to be informed that they are the victim in the game.

No word has been more inspiring to me to learn and grow and discover my own values and adventures than the word Cancer.  Whenever I hear it or explore it I know I am going to grow and learn something amazing.  Live better.

Misty Tree

Misty Tree

I freed myself of ovarian cancer.  I believed I lost my creativity with that surgery.  NOPE!  I was wrong – I paid all the bills and that was a lesson in creativity 101 – Then I fought for my children to have the best education and hopefully the best life they could discovery – that was Master’s level Creativity.

Did you give a big enough donation?  Did you find your key?  Did you cover your tracks well enough? Did you find a wonderful place to hide?

What word motivates you to live your best life?  Find your own truth?

The post was written for the Blogging for a Cause e-book to support breast cancer research by Lance of Jungle of Life (link)  and Joanna Sutter  a writer for Fitness and Spice (link) ~prh  10/11/2009

25 Responses to “Some Words are Just Hard to Hear”

  1. Betsy Wuebker Says:

    Hi Patricia – This post is brimming with power. What a wonderful share about what motivates you and what you have overcome.

    There isn’t a single word or condition that has motivated me throughout my life, but there has been a series of circumstances that have taught me perspective. Those would be losing one of my sons at birth, fighting the battles with my premie/special needs child, dealing with narcissism in a variety of individuals within (too) close quarters, and coping with a seasonally-affective tendency toward depression.

    The result has been self-awareness that waxes and wanes. Life is wonderful in the respect that over and over we are given the opportunity to get ourselves back on track, or to forge a new trail emboldened with our knowledge. Thank you for the reminder in this wonderful post.
    .-= Betsy Wuebker´s last blog ..EARLY SNOW – THE OCTOBER GARDEN =-.

  2. vered | blogger for hire Says:

    Beautiful words and such a powerful message.
    .-= vered | blogger for hire´s last blog ..Inappropriate Halloween Costumes for Kids =-.

  3. Patricia Says:

    Betsy,
    It is true that it is in the living of life and feeling in life that we gain definition and outcomes – it is reassuring to know that we can try again or change and keep going…
    I like to think of depression as the foghorn of life….use it to your advantage and move safely on…it is powerful.
    .-= Patricia´s last blog ..Some Words are Just Hard to Hear =-.

  4. Patricia Says:

    Vered,
    Thank you – it is an area where woman are being “ripped off” in life, I have strong feelings about it.

  5. Talon Says:

    A powerful reminder to take charge of your own life…
    .-= Talon´s last blog ..Happy Thanksgiving =-.

  6. Patricia Says:

    Talon,
    Thank you – your comment means a great deal to me.

  7. Jannie Funster Says:

    One of the teachers at Kelly’s school has a little boy who is now 10 years old, and 5 years in remission for leukemia. His mom vows that research dollars managed to save her son.

    I think there are so many wonderful giving people out there.

    And I have just come from a site where I learned a lot on meditation, how it is probably the best positive thing we can do for our health and happiness. I really want to incorporate meditation more into my daily life. I feel better even just thinking about meditation.
    .-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Goin’ For The Page Rank Juice =-.

  8. Patricia Says:

    Vered,
    Thank you for the Stumble – it means a great deal to me.
    .-= Patricia´s last blog ..Some Words are Just Hard to Hear =-.

  9. Patricia Says:

    Jannie,
    Meditation and prayer are just vital to me in my living and my healing. It is the energy that the Medical Intuitive shifts around and then I can shift it around too to make a profound difference…
    Larry Dossey is the leading expert on healing prayer…easy to read stuff.

  10. Jannie Funster Says:

    I too will Stumble this! When I don’t see a Stumble button on someone’s post I forget to do it, but this is certainly a great article.

    I am more of a meditation novice but loving the results. Will for sure check out the Larry Dossey, thanks, as The Eckhardt Tolle “The Power Of Now,” was not so easy for me.

    Blessings.
    .-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Goin’ For The Page Rank Juice =-.

  11. Sara Says:

    Patricia — I found this post very affirming. Both of my parents died of cancer and it’s terrified me most of my life. When I think about this and the words from your post, I realize how much time I lose to my FEAR of what might happen. As I see it, this is time I could be laughing, writing, and just enjoying life.

    I’m working very hard to live in the present as much as possible. I don’t actually meditate…well not in the traditional way. I use nature as my “be here and now.” When I take a walk or sit outside, I get caught up in the very presentness of nature. It makes it easier for me to put aside my fears and just be part of life. Thank you for this powerful post:~)
    .-= Sara´s last blog ..Picture Story: Here’s To Words =-.

  12. Patricia Says:

    Jannie,
    Thank you for the Stumble…yes the little share button does get bypassed. Jon Kabat-Zinn has some wonderful meditation tools for getting started too.

    Tolle really makes it difficult to understand – I think Jill Bolte Taylor in her My Stroke of Insight says the same thing in common language.

  13. Patricia Says:

    Sara,
    Thank you for your wonderful words – fear is such a huge part of the process and releasing it to live is profound.
    I meditation on my morning walk around the Lake and when I brush my teeth….and I have been saying Grace…whatever format gives one life…that is the best one!
    Thank you for coming by and sharing with me

  14. Liara Covert Says:

    Patricia, I continue to provide primary care for a family member who experiences cancer. She goes through her own choice of treatment, process of healing and envisioned recovery.Learning to love and support unconditionally is a meaningful lesson.
    .-= Liara Covert´s last blog ..Share your views on Self-Disclosure =-.

  15. Patricia Says:

    Liara,
    Having support and loving kindness is important along the way.
    Yes, indeed – as is advocacy when someone is working the system for recovery…

    Good things to point out and take note of – Thank you

  16. SnaggleTooth Says:

    This is a wonderful post- but I got paranoid ’cause there’s a repeat of that “C” word I never say, so it won’t see me like it did both my parents. I’ve learned alot from their experience. Quit smoking n started avoiding alot of unhealthy foods.
    I salute you in your won battle of life, n you should get a medal of bravery!
    .-= SnaggleTooth´s last blog ..Sky n Stream =-.

  17. Barbara Swafford Says:

    Hi Patricia,

    Thank you for this beautiful post. One good thing about cancer awareness is the “word” isn’t being whispered any more. Many women who are survivors proudly profess they beat it and are living a happy, healthy life.

    And, the support system for those who do have cancer is huge. Thank goodness those who get diagnosed don’t have to feel they’re alone.
    .-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Does The Party Ever End =-.

  18. Patricia Says:

    SnaggleTooth,
    Thank you for coming on by – I think when I found out my father had resigned himself to having the C word….was when he let down his joy in living….the best defense next to Vitamin C is joy

    Barbara,
    I like how women are rallying and spreading the word….what is it I need, but I am wary of all the folks moving in to make money off of people….it is very scary….and a deadly game
    Education is the key
    Thank you for your good words

  19. Patricia Says:

    Snaggle Tooth,
    I still can not get my comments posted on your site…your pictures are beautiful and thank you for sharing.

  20. Cath Lawson Says:

    Hi Patricia – what a wonderful post. It sucks that only the pharmaceuticals can afford to do cancer research. I fear that we’ll never find a cure when they are profiting by keeping everyone ill.

    As you say, we’re better off investing in future generations, in the hope that they can make a positive impression on the world.

    By the way, my CD has arrived. Thank you very much. Now we’re back home, I’m looking forward to listening to it.

  21. Patricia Says:

    Cath,
    I am glad you received the CD – I think it is so fun that it will help heal – hope so.
    Yes, I hope the world will change and find new cures, but we get so distracted by the money…

    Cleft palates are repaired by plastic surgeons….they have found the genetic marker with the protein missing in UK, France, and Sweden…..but it is not glamorous enough to get money for never having cleft palates occur in the first place!

    Justice is hoped for…money speaks.
    Thank you for coming by and commenting – enjoy the music LOL

  22. Davina Says:

    Patricia… “Some words ARE hard to hear”… but not when they come from the heart and are heard with the heart. You have clearly written this from the heart and with conviction. Very powerful.
    .-= Davina´s last blog ..9. Thyme Out On A Mountain =-.

  23. Patricia Says:

    Davina,
    Thank you

  24. Dot Says:

    You’re so right. It’s hard to imagine seeing cancer as a learning experience or conquering it.

    An even harder word to hear is death — which a lot of times is what people are hearing when they’re hearing cancer. Writing about death is a sure way to get no or few comments (and perhaps no readers), I’ve found. But we all have to die of something, just hopefully not until we’re ready. Despite the fact that it affects everyone, 100% of us, no one wants to talk about it or figure out ahead of time how to cope with it.

    I always thought cancer was what I should fear, and instead I got a whole bunch of everything else. As for your question, I’ve never focused on living my best life. I’m working hard on just living at all.

  25. Patricia Says:

    Dot,
    Just living is a very dynamic goal…just keep updating the vision of the future every couple of months…and record your progress in some way…You will be amazed…

    Lots of folks are just making the motions of living….when you have a heartache or pain at least you know you are working on relieving it – so other’s will know how to also