Comments on: What is Marriage?

By: From Dominique's Desk

From Dominique's Desk — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 07:41:07 +0000

[...] What is Marriage? – by Patricia’s Wisdom [...]

By: patricia

patricia — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 01:41:31 +0000

Tina,
Welcome and thank you for your good comments. I think some of us just grow into marriage – belonging and that is just right for us.

All the good comments are just adding so much to this post – Thank you

By: Tina Kubala

Tina Kubala — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 22:07:14 +0000

My husband and I have been together as a couple and living together almost ten years. The circumstances of our early relationship lead to use living together almost right away. We had an intent to marry. We are both a bit old fashioned, really. About two years into our relationship, we got married. He'd always said whenever I was ready would be fine. The reason I knew it was time was when I began to feel uncomfortable with referring to my - what? - boyfriend? We had been through so much, more than most people go through in a decade. Our relationship was beyond any lesser description than husband and wife. I know this seems anti feminist, but one of the concepts I define my marriage with is belonging. I belong to my husband and he belongs to me. We are responsible for each other physically, mentally and emotionally. We are coming up on eight years of marriage. I'm still happy to be his wife every day. Tina Kubalas last blog post..Girly Survey

By: Patricia

Patricia — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 16:24:06 +0000

Barb, This is beautiful and lovely, I just think all the comments here add so much to the post and concepts. Your writing is so lovely. Congratulations on the the 46 years! Patricias last blog post..Thinking About My Dad

By: Barb Hartsook

Barb Hartsook — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:17:27 +0000

Such thoughtful comments here, Patricia. There’s a great difference between getting married and being married.

I harped at my girls to just make a friend. Fall in love with a friend. Two of the three did that, and both girls are celebrating 17 years of marriage this summer. All is well — my youngest said early in her marriage that as well as she knew her husband before, she discovered things that irritated her after the wedding. Things she didn’t like. So she made the conscious decision to think about the things she DID like and love about him. These things grew — there’s a saying that what we pay attention to grows. A wise young woman, my daughter.

I think many of us confuse the emotion of love with the actions of LOVING. Love is an active verb — the emotions follow. I think many times we want the love coming to us without doing the love. (Guess how I know this so well… haha!)

Our culture has long put down the notion of Wife (and sometimes Mom) as a profession. But it’s an enormous one! If you don’t think so, just scan the plethora of books, CD’s, available coaching on the subject of marriage — not weddings. It’s a huge money-making industry!

It’s work! I love being married — 46 years this summer. I love my husband, but that doesn’t mean I’ve always liked everything he does or is. There’s just no one else I’d rather be building a life with, growing with, than him.

Barb

P.S. It’s a little like Baptism… an outward show of an inner decision and faith. Weddings are an outward show of an inner — lifetime — commitment to each other.

Barb Hartsooks last blog post..Does Romance Outlast the Rose?

By: Patricia

Patricia — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:23:20 +0000

Patricia,
Thank you for coming on by and sharing your story and definition – fabulous words and congratulations on 36+ years – your support and love are your strength I bet! And a 2 year anniversary for your blog…a beacon for us all!

By: Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker

Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:48:37 +0000

Marriage is about committment and being a partner. It is about growing together. Marriage is about learning to like the person that you love. It is about recommitting to each other when times get rough. It is about allowing each person to be themselves. Marriage has been a safe place to experience who I really am in a loving space. It has given me the safety to grow into an entirely new person and still be loved because we have grown together. My husband and I have been married for over 36 years. Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkers last blog post..Second Anniversary For Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker

By: Patricia

Patricia — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:43:54 +0000

Jocelyn,
I think you are right on – but they need to pay attention and not just follow the crowd or the current fad. Thank you for your comment it is appreciated

By: Jocelyn of I TAKE OFF THE MASK

Jocelyn of I TAKE OFF THE MASK — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:10:45 +0000

Marriage is what people make of it. People can make it an obsolete and unnecessary ceremony. But people can also make it the most beautiful thing, such as when two people pledge their love and commitment to one another.

By: patricia

patricia — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 03:49:01 +0000

Liara,
I think it is best when the couple plans and builds their own wedding ceremony because then they truly start working as a team and that gives them strength and power.

When it is not just a pretty show or expected performance then I think real marriages might begin to grow
Thank you for your comments