Vows Another Word for Promises
When it comes to promises and vows some folks stand up and take notice, some expect it to be a pinnacle moment and still other could just care less.
At a wedding ceremony, these are the words that the folks came to hear and witness. In William Shakespeare’s day you were held accountable until one’s dying breath was taken for what one said in the vows portion of the service – or theatrical production. Shakespeare wrote 6 extremely noteworthy vows within both his comedies and dramas.
Within the vows and promises are the legal documents, dowry agreements, and lineage intentions and plans for the combining of two families for eternity. The Vows are some big deal.
We do not have dowry agreements, property arrangements, and lineage intentions in the West and the vows are almost never entered into court proceedings for divorce or child custody rights any more. So have they lost significance and meaning and should we just let them play out as the couple feels comfortable?
The Groom may have no interest in the Ceremony beyond what he will wear, what he will pay for, and whether or not his friends will be drunk during the ceremony (yes! I am fairly pessimistic at this point – sorry) but when it comes to the vows about 50% are highly interested in what they are promising in front of their friends and family.
The most important part of the vows is how well one keeps their promises in life. How trustworthy that individual is towards your precious gift of time, life and love. It is truly the vows that will make or break a marriage – how were those promises kept?
I thought I would share with you three of my most favorite sets of vows. I did not write any of these and the first is from the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each others’ keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
And from another very old book by Khoren Arisian THE NEW WEDDING
_________, I want to live with you just as you are. I choose you above all others, to share my life with me, and that is the only evidence there can be that I love you.
I want to love you for yourself in the hope you will become all that you can be. I promise to honor this pledge as long as life and faith endure
_________, I choose you as my husband/wife. I pledge to share my lie openly with you, to speak the truth to you in love; I promise to honor and tenderly care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfillment as an individual through all the changes of our lives.
What promises and vows have you made over your lifetime and how well have you kept them?
I feel like we need to work on promises and vows these days – ‘cause just too many folks say –“I didn’t really mean it, I had my fingers crossed. What do you think?
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