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True Confessions

Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune so no one will suspect; I’m afraid. The result of this deception is very strange to tell, for when I fool the people, I fool myself as well. ~ Snow White (Disney)

It is true, I am afraid but I am going to embrace my fear and do it anyway. I am getting in my wonderful car, and driving 6 hours by myself across the state, to take a certification program in Ethics and Boundaries. I have no fear about the class, well almost no fear, and it is being taught by a peer who I have the greatest respect for and admiration. It is the driving part which makes me afraid.

I have done this drive 2 other times by myself and as soon as I get past the huge aggressive cities and over the mountain pass, I just enjoy the experience to the max. Navigating the city I am going to is not a joyride either as I will have to find my way around the unknown.

My fear comes because with this torn ligament I am not able to freely turn my body to the left without a great deal of pain. Merging onto the freeway is a left sided proposition and between here and the eastside there is a minimum of 5 left mergers. Also when driving on the freeway, I am overwhelmed by how many thousands of cars are on the road – where did all these people come from? I have no problem believing the insurance stats that only 1 out of every 4 drivers on the road is competent.

I could fly, but I am part of the shuttle service from the Conference center to the classroom, I am having a birthday dinner with several college students in town, and I will be transporting my partner’s bike and gear for his desert ride of 90 miles on Saturday. We will drive back together and pick up child #2 at the big city airport and give her a few days rest at home before summer work begins in Alaska. Whew!

Here’s my other fear. I need the boundaries part of this ethics class and I am concerned I will not be able to succeed at redeveloping my public boundaries. I absorb others emotions right into my body as though I were a sponge. In 15 years of being out of the public domain, I am quickly right with you feeling all of your pain and joy in a flash. Consequently, I then hold on to those emotions. I am concerned that this class I am taking will not be deep enough to assist me in re-establishing my own boundaries.

The 500 people attending a fundraiser this weekend were a practice session in perfume navigation and emotional overloading. It was a very happy event so I was lucky and exhausted by the time I got home.

The act of confession reclaims our spirits from the consequences of our choices. As we learn more about our energy natures, we realize how much our spirits remain attached to negative events and thoughts, past and present. Confession is much more that the public acknowledgment of a wrongdoing. In energy terms it is the acknowledgement that we have become conscious of – and therefore empowered over – a fear that had previously commanded our spirits. Symbolically, confession liberates our spirits from past fears and negative thought patterns. Remaining attached to negative events and beliefs is toxic to our minds, spirits, cell tissues, and lives. ~ Caroline Myss, Anatomy of the Spirit

So there! I got my confessions out in the open, and hopefully this will assist me in overcoming and moving forward. I’ll let you know.

Anything you would like to confess? I surely wish we had better train service and lite rail available? How about you? Do you use audio books on long drives?

confessional


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Looking forward to you comments.

11 Responses to “True Confessions”

  1. Vered - MomGrind Says:

    Good luck! I hate to drive too. Theoretically I love it, but as you say the roads are full of incompetent drivers. Here in California we also have so many traffic jams. Too many people live here!

    Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..54 Tips For Green Living – Earth Day 2009

  2. Work Happy Now! » Blog Archive » The Work Buzz Says:

    […] my soul than when I’m Mr. Grumpy pants. When Mr. Grumpy pants kicks in, I can always rely on Patricia’sWisdom to ease my […]

  3. Davina Says:

    Hi Patricia. Well, good luck on your drive. I do not enjoy driving at all! I’ve never owned a car, but occasionally I rent one. I can’t relax when I’m behind the wheel. I listen to music to help me relax but haven’t tried an audio book. I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate on the book while I was focusing on driving.

    Davinas last blog post..Morning Muse — Flock of Thoughts

  4. Mark Says:

    Sounds like you have a great adventure planned! You will do great, release your fears and embrace this experience and have a great time!

    Marks last blog post..Are You Full of Yourself?

  5. Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching Says:

    Thanks for this post. It definitely got me curious about you — you seem like a fascinating person. What happened that had you doubt your boundaries and stay, as you say, out of the public domain? Or does that not feel comfortable to talk about? Best, Chris

  6. Bunnygotblog Says:

    Well, I use to travel a lot more and always used auto-books when I drove. It always seemed to pump me up for meetings.
    Also a CD of your favorite music.I love classical for driving long distances and there is a lot of traffic.
    Stay safe and have fun- remember to stop and stretch the leg too.
    Stay Blessed____________

    Bunnygotblogs last blog post..Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

  7. Jannie Funster Says:

    Patricia, I sure hope I can give you only wonderful, wonderful emotions. Posting a song video tomorrow. Hope to, anyway!

    Pou are such a dear soul.

    My confessions? Popped open one of my 4 mini bottles of wine about 3 miles from my house tonight in the car and partook of some sips. 1 out of 4 drivers, eh?

    I dont’ have the guts to post any “during” remodelling photos. Everything’s got to be just PERFECT with my site’s pictures.

    And number 3, carbs made up about 70% of my food today.

    I’m so bad.

    love ya!

    Oh, and I wish I had an i-Phone and you had an i-Phone so I could keep in touch with you on the road.

    But maybe you do have one, do you? An i-Phone, that is?

    Jannie Funsters last blog post..Jannie’s Fine!!

  8. patricia Says:

    Mark, Chris, Bunny and Jannie – I am without internet connection. I will write better comments when I am not having to dictate this via the phone with my daughter…

    Cheers! (Whitney)

  9. Patricia Says:

    Vered,
    It turned out to be a stunningly beautiful drive and only severe pain on 3 of the 6 left merges. When I got out of the big city traffic I was able to relax and enjoy singing along with Josh Grobin tape and the New Richteous Mother’s CD!

    Davina,
    I made it without much driving my life until I moved away from Urban Centers. I am one of the amazing people with Dyscalcula with a driver’s license – I am proud of that. I wish though we had a better lite rail system in this state – how much fun would it have been to take the train!

    Mark,
    The Ethics class was excellent and I wish you could have been there – from your writing I would guess you would have found it great too! I did bless the drive and when I got over the Mountain Passes (snow free) I just was along for my own ride. Merging left with this torn muscle is still fairly painful – but getting better – Hurrah!

    Chris,
    Welcome and thank you for your comments. I do not mind talking about my life changes and discoveries at all. Karl Jung would say I am one of those people who enter the world with my emotions – I learned to do other people’s emotions as a child because my Proper English/Scottish background parents thought any displays of emotion improper = I am rather a sponge. Then all the cancer surgeries I have had I left me feeling rather exposed. After advocating for children and itinerate counseling work I had my public boundaries in place, until I came home to spend 24/7 assisting my mum in her dying process. I am out of practice with pubic boundaries!

    Bunny,
    I like your good thoughts about road trips. I did listen and sing along with a couple of CD’s and then coming across the desert flat of the state, I just relaxed, mellowed and enjoyed the silence and the stunning beauty of the adventure. It was good

    Jannie,
    I do not have an iPhone or Blackberry – my youngest child has a Blackberry and she only uses her computer now for school work – she does text about 3=4,000 a month?
    Oh wow I have so much static in my hair that I look like I have a fairy touch mohawk! with curls….the motel room desk has a mirror right above it. I will have to listen to CD on Sunday pm as this Internet connection is not a very strong signal.

    I am just very happy to be able to get on line at this time.

    I took lots of good notes on the workshop/ethics training yesterday which I will be sharing here…It was kind of fun to be with 50 other folks who are not techno savvy and are doing good works….It was rather reassuring.

    Thank you Whitney for filling in via the phone….what WOULD I do with out my IT guru?

  10. J.D. Meier Says:

    I take my IPod on any trips and I really like to hop back and forth between learning stuff and just zoning out to my favorite tunes.

    It’s cool how easy it is to take your world wherever you go these days.

    J.D. Meiers last blog post..Finding Your Process

  11. Patricia Says:

    J.D
    I had a ipod shuffle, but it gave up in exercise class one morning and I have not replaced it….but I did have some good tunes along in the car – Righteous Mother’s kept me going….I need to say you might want to ride your motorcycle to the Eastern part of the state, it was stunningly beautiful drive…the sage brush is just ready to bloom – Jeremiah daisies were fabulous and a black thunder cloud moved over the northern sky….it was breathtaking at Indian John rest stop….I forgot my camera….just a suggestion…
    It is so neat to beable to take the world with you where every you go…

    Patricias last blog post..Procession of the Species