Comments on: Vivaldi’s Four Seasons Kind of Woman

By: Patricia

Patricia — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 01:12:38 +0000

Julie- thank you for your comments and suggestions – I wrote the rough draft she will have to edit and post. Good news is that another engineer just offered to help after her 8 months of writing on the social sites
SUnil – thank you for commenting on my page – no Charlie Chaplin here, but I did try your shorter paragraph style today and am implementing it on my series I am working on about Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome for the coming weeks. My only affiliate is Amazon.com so when the reader links they just get a book with that title. Thank you so much.
Lael – I thank you for your great suggestions and comments, I don’t think engineers want to look or sound nerdy or intimidating. Good ideas Thank you.

Patricias last blog post..When Love and Trust are Shattered – Pray?

By: Lael

Lael — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 22:36:25 +0000

ok I would take out the Bambi part and the seeing it too young…. I would also maybe take out the “high powered” because some men are turned off by powerful women… not to say that it is bad to be one but some guys are intimidated by that…. personalized greeting card sounds kind of nerdy but it could maybe work I guess….

By: SUnil Pathak

SUnil Pathak — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 05:34:48 +0000

Hi Patricia

Your writing style is really good, but need to work on formating your text, try to split your content in many small paragraph instead one few big one. it will make your post more scan-able and easy for your reader to pick what catch their fancy.

PS: let your reader know when you link to your affiliate so they know what to expect from the link they are clicking through

By: Julie Andersen

Julie Andersen — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:30:25 +0000

She sounds like someone with whom one could have a thoughtful and well-informed conversation. She has a great sense of humor, she’s a good listener, and her interests are varied. Those are wonderful things to highlight – but in a world of the 20-second soundbite, I’m thinking you will want to deliver the message with a bit more brevity and some hard-to-forget phrasing.

By: Patricia

Patricia — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:26:06 +0000

Vered, Thank you for your comment, greatly appreciated and thank you for the suggestion too, I will work on that right away, that was my first thought, though my techie is an old soul in her youthful prime? Patricias last blog post..Vivaldi’s Four Seasons Kind of Woman

By: Vered - MomGrind

Vered - MomGrind — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:07:01 +0000

She sounds amazing, but I think it's "too old fogey" as you so eloquently put it... the sentences should probably be shorter. Good luck! Vered - MomGrinds last blog post..You Read Women’s Magazines? I’ll Give You Ten Reasons To Stop

By: Patricia

Patricia — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 20:51:29 +0000

Thank you so much Carol Ann and that is the kind of response I love to hear! You are very kind and I know a wonderful mom who wants the best for her kiddos. Do You think it is fast paced enough for this generation? or too old fogey? Patricias last blog post..Vivaldi’s Four Seasons Kind of Woman

By: Carol Ann

Carol Ann — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 19:18:41 +0000

She sounds wonderful! Almost too good to be true! Yes, I would like to meet her!