Gotta Make A Change
I have been having trouble with the United States Postal System for most of last week. First, we had a day where there was a new carrier and our mail was not delivered, then the next day only junk mail arrived. Carefully mailed Father’s Day cards did not appear and my lab report from my last exam at the doctor’s office was not delivered. Rather than making for a blissfully ignorant weekend, this chain of events made for a rather large evoking of concern. The Father’s Day card has never arrive but three lab reports have arrived after fervent phone calls. The system did not work for me in reverse either, all of last week nothing I posted arrived on time and we have our fingers crossed that my daughter’s prescription renewal form will arrive this week – something that should have arrived last Friday and no later than Saturday. When I did not respond to the arrival of the lab work, my doctor phoned me and left a message on my message machine; I requested a new copy and was so concerned I drove over to pick up the prescription renewal and get a new copy of my labs in hand.
The lab report was not good – I must make more changes now – so I immediately went into a blaming myself mode for being so klutzy and breaking my foot, then blaming my foot for not healing, then blaming my body for not responding to all I was doing for its care, and then just blaming the world order for my weakness and frustration. True enough, I had to make more change happen in my life as the pebbles- throw lessons have now become a brick -toss of an exam. I am not ready for this to be a final exam.
That’s the spirit! These are issues I have a choice over and I have already made several decisions which are now being tested as to their true goal worthiness! I am getting out my triangle decision/change making pattern guide (see How to Make Decisions and Change posting) and will begin with an overview:
- On August 23, 2009 I will be healthiest I have ever been in my life.
- I will not be the first person in my family to have diabetes and will have healthy blood sugar levels.
- My blood pressure is strong and healthy and perfect for me.
- I am in charge of my own happiness.
Assessment of what is not working towards achieving those goals:
- My 15-17 hours of exercise a week is not enough to assist in the weight loss I need.
- My walking exercise is not aerobic enough – helpful to healing the foot but not enough for counting as aerobic enough – need those hills! – and added longer time is not enough for my body needs.
- The torn muscle in my left armpit is not allowing me to lift enough weight to increase my muscles building and strengthening them.
- Dropping 200 calories was not enough.
- I am missing something in the food I am eating and must look with a detailed eye and the food choices I am making.
- The Regence Blue Shield Programs are geared towards people who do not already have an exercise program and are not individuated enough for me.
- I need to take my meditation time to a deeper level with relaxation and stress relief being part of the goal, not just letting go and breathing.
Plan of Action:
- Adding two more swimming sessions to the week and really making them aerobic.
- Speeding walking 3 of the 4 trips around the Lake – that will still keep the 1.5 miles around a fairly flat walk “happening” for my foot healing and keep muscle in arm pit in recovery with ok motion – talk to the Personal trainer before implementing this maneuver.
- Talk to the dietician about dropping 50 more calories and which calories they should be, such as should I cut out the whole apple or should I cut out the 15 calorie electrolyte water?
- Should I cut out the nuts, raw walnuts and raw almonds, from my daily list and just take the capsule form of Omega -3s?
- I purchased the Wii fitness program to give me some variation in the routine and to add another hour of exercise to the day.
- I ripped the sole layer off my broken orthotics and smoothed the rough edge with a file and inserted them into my good athletic shoes under the existing sole and this seemed to help.
- I will have another fasting blood test 6/30/2008.
- Since my metabolism is so slow, I will begin the fast 2 hours ahead of last time and consume only water.
- I will talk to the Doctor in person after the next lab report.
- I will continue to take my blood pressure reading and chart for the doctor every day.
- I will write about how frustrated I am with my body and how angry I am with myself and find some resolution to those feelings.
- I will learn the lesson.
Discussing the changes with other people:
I have already noted that I will discuss my ideas with the personal trainer, dietician and doctor. I will also discuss these things with my family and particularly my partner who has agreed to fend for himself this week on food, so that I might focus more attention on my needs. What a guy!
Now I am asking you to make comments here about things that have worked for you in getting to health which might be helpful to me – I am adding you to the discussion and looking forward to your comments.